When Words Are All I Have

Have you..

2012-01-26T13:24:00.000+08:00

hugged your child today?

I haven't.
I did kiss her before I left for work.
But didn't hug her coz didn't want to wake her.
Can't wait to get home to squeeze herr!
hehe

xo,
Clingwrap Mom

Zodiac compatibility

2012-01-20T17:32:00.000+08:00

My Zodiac: Libra
Sophia's: Aries

Go here to see where I got this zodiac compatibility results from.

Summary

Hello, full dance card. Who knew that parenting would be a lot like being a cruise ship director? A Libra parent of an Aries child, that's who.

Compatability

Together you two are off and running to playdates, parties, and museums. Your Aries wakes up and asks: Where are we going today? Much to her delight, your answer is never quite the same.

What To Watch Out For

Trouble rarely brews between you two, but when it does, it's usually because you have trouble making little choices. The science museum or the petting zoo? Libra, this is when you can let your Aries lead. Your little ram uses her gut to make decisions—something you can learn from.

X, Y and Z

2012-01-18T07:46:00.004+08:00

Remember this book?
Well, I haven't had the chance to continue reading it.
Lilly, wanna borrow it first?

I've also finally put up the video of Soph reciting the alphabet like I said I was going to.
It's so late that Soph has already progressed, and isn't saying 'lalalala' instead of 'w' anymore.
she still can't say 'w' but it sounds closer. 3-syllables now. hehe
and she recites the fast-paced version now. not the normal-paced version in the video I mentioned above.
we're trying to teach her to say "double-U", but instead she'd continue saying "x.. y and z" each time we try.

Mama: Sophia, da-bel-u?
Soph: x, y and z
Mama: No Sophia, SAY w.
Soph: x, y and z
Abah: Ok Sophia, q, r, s.. t, u, v.....
Soph: alala, x, y and z
Abah: No Sophia, not alala..
Soph: x, y and z

lol
this went on for at least 15 minutes I think, with my nephew Alif joining in the fun and finding it hilarious too.
we had a good laugh that day :)

The other video I haven't uploaded yet. It's still in hubby's phone.
I may or may not upload it whenever.
Underpromise so you can overdeliver. haha

Heart strings

2012-01-13T13:33:00.009+08:00

There's a lump in my throat as I write this.

Soph called me when I was at lunch.
My mom dialled of course.
Mom told me Soph was crying for me when she woke up.
Then she handed the phone to Soph.

I said "Hi Sophiaaaa~ Sophia dah makan?"
in my usual tone that I use with her.
She was quiet but I could hear my mom in the background "eleleee lebarnya senyumm"
then I heard Soph giggle
<3

I kept talking to her despite her silence coz I knew she was listening.
I asked her again if she had eaten.
I told her I just had my lunch.
I asked her where her fairy wings were.
"faiwy", she said.
I told her, "nanti Mama balik kita main fairy okay~?"
"okay~", she said gently and calmly.
"Sophia nak kan main fairy? kejap lagi Mama balik okay?"
"okay~", she said.
<3

when my mom got back on the phone, she asked me what had I asked/told Soph that Soph kept saying 'ok'.
when I explained she said no wonder she was smiling and happy
<3

So now I can't wait to get home.
I want to let her swim in our plastic pool if I can get home early.
But now am reminded that I may have to go home late today, coz of a meeting at 3.
I did try to get the meeting to be held yesterday instead coz I noticed the habit of choosing Fridays. but it didn't work. maybe i'll try again the Friday after next.
come on man... "it's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday"

So, I'm missing Soph more than usual now.

We baked our first homemade cake together 2 nights ago!
we've baked together once but that was from an instant package.
then yesterday Soph said "nak cook" when she saw photos of her baking on my fb.
btw, my iPad's wallpaper when locked shows a photo of Sophia smiling.
she has long learned how to unlock the iPad but before doing so yesterday, she said "so chiutt".
hahahah my sis and I paused in disbelief for 2 seconds before we burst out laughing ;D

anyway, the cake turned out good surprisingly.
taste-wise la, i don't like the look of it though.
the icing was too runny, not sure if I was supposed to chill the icing first before spreading it on the cake.
and the 2 layers are not of the same size since I didn't use pans of the same size.
hahah
Thinking I had the right size, I bought the wrong baking pan the second time.
I just used them, with the expectation that the icing will hide the cakes inside.
That didn't happen since the icing was so runny.
hehe

I let Soph decorate the cake entirely on her own though, after I iced it.
I gave her balloons, and clowns and strawberries, as well as 'Happy Birthday' candles.
She was free to decorate it however she liked. and i think she enjoyed it :D
I did stop her from taking the decorations out to rearrange though. didn't want her to 'play' with the food that will be offered to others for consumption. I also made sure her hands were washed before we began.

Anyway, I felt like blogging after seeing a man browsing through children's clothing after lunch earlier.
I realised something happens in my heart when I see a father browsing/window shopping for children's items, be it clothes or toys.
I just find it so heartwarming and touching to observe that.
It's common for mothers everywhere to shop for their kids (obsessively too i might add) or to shop .full stop. hehe
but for fathers or the male species, you don't see that very often and when I do see that, a serene feeling washes over me.

the fact that that particular man i'm looking at is thinking about his children, imagining what they might like and which they'd prefer.
that he's giving them more thought than the basic 'i wonder if they're safe and sound at home' thought that us parents get 1 million times a day.
more thought on how the kids would be happy and excited when he brings the items home that evening :)
i could be making the story out to be more than it actually is though but hey, it makes me feel good :)

to fathers like these out there, keep it up. someone here appreciates it nvm that i'm in no way related to you. hehe

grandfathers too. i know my dad's like that. he's so sweet and he really thinks of what the recipient of the item would like. he always comes home from a trip and say "Grandpa bought this sbb Grandpa tahuu Sophia or -insert name of child/grandchild- meeessti suka ni" <3

I remember the first time hubby bought Soph clothes. I felt it too, only at least 10x more! <3

Love at first sight

2012-01-12T16:06:00.002+08:00

I think (because it's too soon to tell) I've fallen in love...

Before you start getting any ideas and before you let your mind wander further, let me just say that I've fallen in love with a book. Not another man. This heart's owned by 1 man already ;)

I'm talking about the warm and fuzzy feeling and the 'OMG this is IT! He knows me so well' realisation that hit me the moment I laid eyes on the words. and that's just on the first page! I forced myself to put it down coz like all things sweet, I want to savour the moment. I wanna try reading it before bed tonight :D

But I do know I could be in danger of hastily judging a book by it's ~~cover~~ first page. I don't care, my instinct tells me it's good, that it suits my preference of writing-style at the very least. And if i'm wrong, I'll just write about it again. chances are, i'll write about it again even if I turn out to be right.

I found the book by chance. My colleague asked if I had checked out the book sale at the lobby of our office. I said no but went to check it out.

There, I spotted the parenting section, if you could call it a section since there were very few books on sale, possibly because everyone else had bought the bulk of it in the morning.

I spotted this book 'Raising Your Child'. The salesperson ripped open the wrapping for me so I could browse through it. But I only read the back of the book then.

My wandering eyes spotted another book with a cute pair of baby feet on the cover. The title was 'Brain Rules for Baby', also by the author of Brain Rules, John Medina.

I decided to get one but the problem was, which one?
I was contemplating between the 2 when the salesman said someone bought a copy of 'Raising Your Child' this morning. I immediately thought to call Awanis coz I knew she's into this kind of reading too.
I wanted to check if she was the one who bought it in the morning, in which case, I'd get the 'Brain Rules for Baby' book so we can exchange when we were done with our own books.
It turns out it wasn't her who had bought it.

So I had no choice but to decide on my own ;)
As with my usual approach to handling/choosing most things in life, I wanted to choose the one that spoke to my heart.

I happened to flip through the Brain Rules for Baby first. I didn't feel too good reading it, mostly coz of the firm style of writing, almost self-righteous like 'you should do this, you shouldn't do that'. Electronics=No.
In this day and age, the iPad is valuable to me, it has its benefits in terms of teaching Sophia through the educational games/apps as well as keeping her occupied when I have to attend to other things. Of course, I realise it is better for her to run around and read books instead of looking at the screen of a piece of electronic, most of the time. but I want practical solution/ideas. I want real. and I want frank and honest. I didn't want someone else to tell me what to do just because he thinks it's THE best for EVERYONE and EVERY CHILD.

I wanted someone to expose me to the different approaches used by different people in certain situations as well as someone who can make me more aware of how other mothers/parents have felt in certain situations under certain conditions. I wanted to read about others' experiences and advice.

I think it was in the 'Raising Your Child Book' that I came across a page with a reminder/warning that there is no one-size fits all method to raising your child. That's what I want to hear from someone who's about to give me advice about parenting.

In the end you know which one I got.
'Raising Your Child' by Dr Michael F Roizen and Dr Mehmet C Oz.
I actually didn't even look who wrote the books.
I didn't care as long as their style suits me. Humour is another plus point, especially from those who I feel sound like they've experienced the journey themselves.

upon updating Awanis about the book I decided on and its authors, she looked it up on Amazon and said it got very good reviews. the 2nd author happens to be the famous Dr Oz! I wouldn't have noticed if it weren't for Wanis. great! sounds like my instinct is proving to be right already :) we'll see.

My mom's sooo disapproving of any type of parenting books. I know where she's coming from. she hates that some people can follow what a book says to do, without even thinking. I totally agree with that part.
but I also know the reason why I want to read this. not to blindly follow what the author advises to do, but as another resource for me to collect and learn about the different ways one could handle any one situation. and to choose which one would suit me best in each situation.

can't wait to bury my nose in it! :D

Sophunny

2012-01-05T13:12:00.001+08:00

1. Soph and I were eating strawberries in front of the telly.
We each had our own bowls.
I finished first of course.

She stood in front of me, and put her strawberry in my bowl.
hubby and I 'awwww'ed, smiling so wide. so happy our daughter is getting to be very generous and is showing signs that she loves me.

then..
she took my bowl with the strawberry in it and gave me her bowl in exchange.

LOL! so funny la Soph!!

2. I was trying to capture her reciting the alphabets on video. it was my ump-teenth attempt already. she can say A-Z* since at least 2 months ago but it's near impossible to get her full A-Z on video. when i don't have my camera/ipad near me, she'd repeat the full A-Z like 5 times in one sitting -_-

The camera was recording when suddenly she paused, then came charging at me. it reminded me of the movie paranormal activity somehow. she grabbed the camera right away. and tried to take a photo by pressing the shutter button. of course she only stopped the video by doing that.

I showed her the video and she cracked up watching herself charge at the camera like that.
she even imitated herself as if she was angry when she was coming at me. she made a low sound with her voice, frowning and beating her fists in the air.
then, as usual, she chuckled. only my hubby and I know how adorable we thought she looked imitating herself. she's hilarious. I can't describe it well enough.

hubby said she takes after me, that trait. the chuckling after every single thing.
so now when she does it, I wince. haha!**
coz I'm starting to notice how often I do it.
see I even do it virtually**

*Sophia's A-Z:
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L-lelelo-P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, lalalala, X, Y et Z

(self-reminder: add the video)

the correct ones she pronounces almost all the proper way but some still pelat.
the distinct ones she hasn't quite got them right yet are M, N, O and W.
her W sounded only 3-syllables before, which sounded like 'lalalu' but now she says 'lalalala', 4-syllables now ;)
and i wrote 'et' instead of 'and' because you can't hear her pronounce 'N', it sounds like 'et'='and' in French instead.

3. whenever her Abah dozes off, whenever she sees his eyes closed, she'd go "Abah! Ay-kap!".
she'll ask him to wake up. then he'd open his eyes and she'd laugh. REPEAT :D

4. Soph now looks for me when i'm not within eyesight. if she's with her Abah and she can't see me, 90% she'd go looking for me. "Mama!!??", while looking for me in the kitchen or the next room. if her Abah says i'm having a shower, she'd want to go look for me upstairs. if she's with her Nanny at home, I'm not so sure. I suspect all this while she doesn't look for me much. But my mom told me yesterday that Soph had cried looking for me. I think she's begun to wonder where I am when she doesn't see me at home during the day. I'm usually gone by the time she wakes up wkday mornings

5. Hubby and I wanted to (and are still trying to) capture Soph's reaction when we get home from work coz her face literally lights up. her eyes would go wide, her eyebrows raised to their limits and the corners of her mouth would turn up gradually but quickly. the first time we tried, my twin sis arrived at the same time
so all 3 of us went into the house at the same time, with my hubby recording using his phone.
as I usually would, I called her name, waited for her to spot me, and opened my arms wide and kneeled (sometimes squat) on the floor, waiting for her to run into my arms.
she stood up from her sofa she was lying on, and came running to us.

she ran PAST me. past my open arms.
hahahah
straight into my sister's arms.
and looking at the video later, I could see that she was aware she was being cheeky!

Happy New Year

2012-01-03T08:19:00.003+08:00

or Happy Nu Near as my lil bro (not so lil anymore) would say a long time ago :)

Here's to the new year, and the ~~new~~ oldER you, but with new improvements!

More than just a piece of writing

2011-12-30T18:04:00.002+08:00

I am very grateful that a friend shared this with me today.
Unbeknown to her, this comes at a very good time for me.
I needed to read this. For myself.

I am pasting this here, for my reference, and for Soph's benefit when she reads my blog one day, insyaAllah.
As a reminder to always be confident about our beliefs regardless what others may accuse us of.
Others have a right to wonder about my faith and spirituality, based on something as basic as the missing covering on my head at this moment, but they don't have the right to question my faith and spirituality.
It is after all between me and my Creator.

I do thank them for the criticisms, valid or not for they at least force me to reflect upon myself.
If I see even a tiny truth in the accusation, I will improve by trying to correct the mistake pointed out.
If I do not believe there is any truth in the accusation, I will improve by staying calm, collected and not retort or retaliate rudely (eventhough i can feel my ears heating up and turning red). Although it is what I've always done, I now need to ensure that I don't keep the hurt feelings inside. As it is a waste of energy and time and happy breaths.
Either way, I can, and will only improve.

Sophia, and everyone/anyone else reading this, may this piece of beautiful writing give you a sense of calmness and as much assurance to believe in yourself and your intentions as it has given me, even for a moment.

Now, to always be reminded and apply the 10 points in reality.
InsyaAllah

The Complete Muslim Personality (source)
JAMAAL DIWAN |DECEMBER 16, 2011 5:00 AM

It is well known and understood that Islam is a holistic system that impacts all areas of a person’s life. We hear this a lot but many times it is difficult to know exactly what it means and how it plays out in our lives. On this topic Imam Hasan al-Banna has a beautiful, terse, but dense statement. He mentions that the first thing that the Muslim should be concerned with is the reform of herself or himself. Then he says, “A Muslim should strive to attain a strong body, good character, cultured thought. He should be able to earn a living, have pure belief, and correct worship. He should be able to control his desires, be careful about his time, organized in his affairs, and beneficial to those around him. These comprise the duties of every Muslim as an individual.”1 These ten points provide a well-rounded approach to personal development according to the teachings of Islam.

Our health is a blessing and responsibility from Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) and the level at which we take care of it affects all areas of our lives. If we are healthy then we think more clearly, we have more energy, and we are even stronger psychologically. However, at the same time, when we neglect our health we fall victim to all kinds of things like fatigue, psychological and spiritual struggles, and even cloudy thought. For these reasons it is foundational in the development of the well-rounded Muslim personality.

Out of this comes the first outward manifestation of the real quality of a person’s relationship with their Creator, character. The word used in Arabic, matīn, does not just mean good but also firm. It’s as if it implies that if a person has a really strong character then it does not only show in good times but also when things are difficult. This is a great measuring stick for us in our daily lives. When things are easy it is not difficult to maintain good conduct and treat people in the best way possible, but in the face of hardship, fatigue, frustration, disappointment, anger, and an array of other emotions it becomes much more difficult. The person who really has firm character can withstand these tests, but the one who is only putting on a show will always be known eventually.

After these two comes the third quality in the set of types of strengths that build the strong Muslim personality. The first strength was physical strength. The second was spiritual discipline, which is the foundation of good conduct. The third strength is intellectual and educational rigor: to be cultured in thought. This particular point is actually of the utmost importance and many times neglected by people who are perceived to be “religious.” The fact of the matter is that Islam is a system of life, informed by the teachings of the Divine, and embodied in the example of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (peace be upon him). This example lived and existed in reality. The Muslim cannot cultivate a dynamic, powerful, meaningful, and impactful understanding of Islam without understanding reality. Islam is here to provide solutions to the problems that humans and mankind face. How can we understand that and actualize it without cultured thought? We cannot.

The fourth type of strength to be directed into the service of Islam is financial strength; hence, being able to earn a living. The reality of the matter is that it is very difficult to do anything when one is reliant upon others for their income or when their financial situation is so dire that they are occupied with essential issues like food, clothing, shelter, and health care. For these reasons it is important that the Muslim seeks to be able to take care of himself or herself so that they can be independent and capable in their service to Islam. Yes, some people will be poorer and others wealthier but all should seek some sort of financial stability.

After mentioning all of these points Imam al-Banna then moves on to say that the person should also have pure belief and correct worship. This is what directs all of those previously mentioned strengths. They are used in accordance with the guidelines and inspiration provided by pure belief and aided through constant and correct worship. From these sources the Muslim truly finds his or her direction and the kind of relationship with the Divine that is required in order to face the difficulties of service to the Truth. They are the well which quenches the spiritual thirst of the heart in its search for its natural inclination.

When all of these strengths are combined and held together with belief and worship the Muslim will find direction and mission in his or her life. This mission will require much from them and herein lies the secret of the last four characteristics. The first of these last four is that the Muslim is constant in fighting their base desires. In the struggle to worship Allah (swt) and live a righteous life there are endless difficulties and tests. Those tests are sometimes very clear and open but sometimes very subtle. They can be tests of sincerity, seeking praise, wanting appreciation from people, argumentation, and many others. These tests cannot be overcome except through a never-ending process of fighting one’s base desires.

The next of these characteristics are to be strict about one’s time and organized in one’s affairs. Time is life itself and the person that kills time only kills their self. This is why Hasan al-Baṣrī said, “O Son of Adam! You are nothing but a compilation of breaths and with each breath that passes, a piece of you is gone.” The well-rounded Muslim will also find that their responsibilities will always outweigh the amount of time that they have to fulfill them. For this reason the Muslim is always strict with their time and organized in their affairs so that they can reap the most benefit from this life before meeting their Lord in the next life.

The last characteristic is to be beneficial to others. This should be read twice. Everything that came before is lost if we are harmful to those around us. The scholars of Islam have said that the core objective of Islam is to acquire benefit. Everything that we do is in the service of Allah (swt) and all that He requires from us is only of pure benefit to us and all of mankind. Therefore, we should use this as a way to check ourselves and assess our impact on those around us, while seeking to understand not only through our own vision but through the teachings of the Divine.

May Allah (swt) help us to embody these characteristics and bless us with being able to manifest Islam in all of its wonderful beauty.

The Message of the Teachings by Hasan al-Banna [↩]

2012

2011-12-29T08:17:00.005+08:00

Morningk!

So 2011 is coming to a close.

My 2011 resolution was short and sweet,

"Dwell less, do more"

I can safely say I have dwelled less this year, and I have been doing more of the things I love, which is to be present body and mind whenever I'm with my loved ones, especially Soph. my ipad and social networks are the biggest cause of distraction for me but alhamdulillah with conscious self-reminders, I have been able to stop myself from surfing pointlessly on the ipad at worst, and not even think about picking it up in the first place at best.

This year, my resolution is to continue with my 2011 resolution, along with some new, more specific goals to add to that:

1. Have more initiative to plan for activities my little family would enjoy. More swimming, more exploring places and the environment, and more laughing. My challenge is to find out what other activities could the 3 of us find enjoyable. Hubby and I unveiled our interest in archery a few years ago, now we think of shooting arrows as a type of activity we would fit into a day out, just like a movie at the cinema. Read: WOULD. archery isn't very appealing to do on a day out with Soph since we can't include Soph in this activity, and on the rare occassions we get to date just the 2 of us, we'd rather get some errands or postponed shopping done. And I have only been to the cinema once since Soph. I could get someone to babysit for me for a few hours, though guilty I would feel, not because I'd be leaving Soph at home, every mom needs a break now and then, but because of taking time away from the babysitter. Plus, the idea of enjoying myself, hanging out with my kid beats a movie any day. There (of course) have been times when I feel like I need a break, but alhamdulillah, a break in the form of a peaceful shower or a peaceful meal or simply getting an errand done without Soph's weight in one arm is enough to rejuvenate this tired mom.

2. Avoid sugary foods and drinks. Limit: let's start with twice a week. by the end of the year I aim for twice a month. sugary drinks are easier to cut down than sugary food for me. I love dessert and cake. boo!
I read that you need to be more specific to increase the chances of achieving your goal. Instead of 'eat healthy' you should be telling yourself to aim to eat how many portions eg. how many servings of fruits and veg a day, and to limit your portion eg. 1 cup of coffee per day/per week

3. More cardio. Include dancing with Soph in my definition of 'exercise'. lengthen dance sessions with Soph to 30 minutes or at least 20. I can continue even if she's done ;P Aim: 20 to 30-minute bursts of energy at least 3 times a week on top of my weekly 1-hour Zumba.
I can also work out to one of my fitness DVDs and get Soph to dance and play in the same room. Have to be careful though, wouldn't want to accidentally bang into her. Pretty easy I think, all I'd have to do is make sure she's in front of me.

4. Dress better at home. I tend to get lazy, wearing my oversized t-shirts and pants. There's a danger in that. You don't realize when you're overeating. I should make a point to wear my corset if i'm wearing stretchy/loose pants at home. Hair is always in a mess too, should be like my Nanny, she wears lipstick at home and is always prim and proper from the time she wakes up.

5. Taking my Nanny's advice, wear lipstick even at home. It doesn't have to be Xtina red! This way I'll make better use of my sticks of lip colour. Especially those in shades I would usually never choose to wear when out and about.

6. When it comes to shopping, when in doubt, PUT IT DOWN!

7. When it comes to procrastinating trivial tasks that I usually dread like filing, JUST DO IT!

8. When it comes to dealing with people's attitudes and bad behaviour, just do what I always do, WALK AWAY!

9. Learn to cook 10 new dishes/food by heart.

10. Just get one of your sewing 'TO DOs' done before the year-end will you??!

Alhamdulillah

2011-12-28T09:13:00.000+08:00

I am not alone <3

Sophia loves me!

2011-12-27T15:22:00.004+08:00

From Parents.com:

Go here for the full write-up as I'm only pasting what I want.
my own words in red.

Challenging You to Chase and Catch Them (ho boy, Soph sure does love me! ;D)

Running away with glee and exuberance is a toddler's way of celebrating her newfound independence, but only if she has the firm confidence that you will follow. She runs away, strutting her freedom, but then she stops and thinks, "Wait, I need to be sure Mommy is still here." By playing the run-and-chase game, she is showing that she is her own person and she firmly believes you will be there to catch her. "Toddlers have to trust that you will be there for them before they can venture out in the world. The more they venture out, the more they need to know you are there for them," says Laura Bennett-Murphy, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology and Director of the Mother-Child Project at Westminster College. Her running away is actually a way of showing just how much she loves you. She has the freedom to run because she has a secure home base (you!), the most important person in the world.

Bringing Loveys Everywhere (she doesn't bring it everywhere, but wherever we go, she's sure to pick up a soft toy and refuse to let go. we have all kinds at home now. just recently made a point of bringing one whenever we go out. but it doesn't have to b any particular one.. yet)

Some toddlers have a stuffed animal or blanket that goes where they go. Others take different objects each time they leave the house. These transitional objects (or loveys) represent you and your love, especially in your absence. Your child loves you so much that she wants to keep you close. Shimm also explains that these objects help your toddler feel safe, "A piece of you is with her. That gives her security." These transitional objects help her be away from you while still keeping you close by. Working at the Barnard College Center for Toddler Development, I knew a child who would bring a toothbrush to the toddler program each morning. It was her way of having her mommy near her while she was at school. Even grown-ups carry photos of loved ones and other reminders, which are not so different from loveys!

Making a Mess with Food

It seems your toddler spends more time touching, mashing, squishing and jabbing food than ingesting it. When she raises her hands high with a big smile on her face, you have to move quickly or else the mushy mess is on you. Your toddler sees food as a place to explore and experiment; she is sharing her pleasure so you can enjoy it with them. Once, my son spilled an entire box of Grape-Nuts on a shaggy rug and proceeded to eat a little, throw a lot, and push the rest deeper into the rug. He ran to show me what he'd done, beaming with pride, sure I would be as happy as he was. He wanted me to see all he had accomplished. "For toddlers, life is about possibilities and curiosity, and food is one place they can be curious and try different things. They love to show you what they've discovered," says Dr. Bennett-Murphy. So, those yogurt-covered hands he's holding out to you? It's actually his way of letting you be delighted in his discoveries with him.

Cuddling and Snuggling with You (my most favourite part!)

Just when you can't deal with one more tantrum or one more "No!" your toddler plops herself down on your lap, snuggles closely, and leans her head onto your shoulder. She looks up at you with a sparkle in her eye and a sweet smile. "As much as toddlers are doing many things to show their independence, they also need to refuel in the comfort of Mommy or Daddy's arms," says Bennett-Murphy. When your toddler cuddles with you, she is showing that she knows you are always there to provide her comfort. This is her active way of saying "I love you." This confident display of love can be the best part of your day!

Screaming 'Welcome Home!' (another favourite!)

Have you ever walked through the door to be greeted by a toddler racing into your arms with a shriek and scream that could be heard blocks away? All that screeching is sheer delight at seeing you return home. "Toddlers build trust every time the parent says they're leaving and later coming back. It's why you can never sneak out," says Shimm. The emotional core of toddlerhood is learning to trust that the adults in their lives will always return. These screams of elevated joy are just another reminder of her love for you.

Surprising You with a Sticky Lollipop (she offers me her food sometimes :) )

Toddlers don't share, except on rare occasions, and only with their most trusted loved ones. Your toddler may take several licks of a bright red, heart-shaped lollipop as his face radiates with joy. As the gooey lollipop drips down his hand, he turns to you and reaches out his little hands to present you the lollipop. By giving you his most prized possession at the moment -- sticky and half-licked -- he is being selfless and sacrificing what he loves. He is expressing "I love you" by sharing what he loves. Your toddler assumes that what makes him happy will make you happy, too, so he shares his happiness with the one he truly loves -- you.

Bear

2011-12-25T14:48:00.002+08:00

Don't be someone others bear with.
Be someone others can't bear to live without.
But most importantly, don't be someone others can't bear to live with.

Soph @ 20 months and other observations

2011-12-17T15:32:00.003+08:00

Size

She was a perfectly good size at 10.7kg, height i'm not sure as she refused for her height to be measured at the paed's. Since it's not that important considering she's about as tall or taller than her peers as far as I can see, we chose to let her be, not necessary to check her height in cm. If need be, we could always check at home anyway.

But, she's been sick for the past 2 weeks. Bad cough with thick phlegm. She did have a temperature but only for a few days, and high fever only once.
Her nose is still runny but i'm just grateful I don't hear a raspy, hoarse sound when she breathes in anymore. that was scary..

So now her weight is exactly 10kg. Not sure where 10kg is on the chart for her age and height. But she does look thin. Her body I mean. Her cheeks are still chubby coz it is in the genes. You should see my niece's cheeks when she was a baby. Here's a photo, even this photo doesn't do justice to how full and squeezable her cheeks were :D

Still, I don't think Soph is underweight, on the lower side of the range maybe. The doctor would have said so if she was or she would've at least ask about what Soph is eating. It's not an issue UNLESS she loses more weight. It's a good thing Soph wasn't already on the low side of the good weight range before she got sick coz she'd be underweight by now.

I just googled for the chart. Go here if you would like to download it too.
I downloaded the 2 of 8 chart (Girls form Birth to 36 months).
So at 10kg, Soph is exactly on the 10th percentile.
And at 10.7kg before she got sick, she was above the 25th percentile.
All I know is that it means 90% of girls her age weigh more than she does at 10kg.
I'm trying to make her steadily put back on the weight she'd lost or at least am trying to make sure she doesn't lose more weight.

Speech

Vocabulary:
at 18 months, I recorded 124 words that she is able to say. Then I stopped recording it in my ipad because i couldn't keep up.
So at 20 months, i have no idea how many words would be on that list now. At least 150 i presume.

Can she talk?
It depends...

on your definition of what it means when we say a toddler 'can talk'.
I've always had a problem of answering people when they ask me if Soph has started talking.
I usually reply with "not really". and that she talks in her own language. she can speak a whole lot of single words and some 2 to 4-word sentences clearly, but she can't make real sentences yet. her long sentences are gibberish with sporadically-placed recognizable words. though i'm sure her gibberish means something real in her head because i've noticed a pattern in the sounds she uses for specific things. u'd probably notice it too if u observe her singing 'Are You Sleeping', the 'lyrics' in the videos that i'm gonna post further down below. also, her saying out those foreign words with gusto suggests she's saying something real.

After having replied the question on several occasions to different people, and having heard other mothers respond to the same question, more often than not I realize that some define 'talking' simply as, the ability to say out single words clearly. and that is why they claim that they (as a child) started talking at 9 months or a year, according to their moms.
I don't think their mothers were lying but I'm sincerely impressed that with 2-5 children or more, all grown and with kids of their own, they can remember which child started speaking exactly at which month. and that's only 'talking'. not to mention 'walking', 'potty trained', 'drinking milk fr a cup' and 'reading'. i doubt they maintained blogs or journals at that time. hehe
so how do they do it when I can't even say for sure which month my daughter (only child for now) who is not even 2 yrs old yet, started walking until i checked my blog? well now that i've checked and made a point to remember so i'd be able to answer truthfully and accurately when ppl ask, coz they will, i can tell them Soph took her first steps between 11-12 months. but 'talking', is trickier in my opinion.

So I spent some time thinking about it for a bit and came up with the theory below.

People's definition of when a child is able to talk varies from
[their ability to say out recognizable single words] to [their ability to converse exactly like adults but with limited vocab]
I must admit my difficulty in answering the simple question "can she talk?" stems from the latter, my definition. I agree that I was very clearly overthinking the question.

Anyway, I don't think my definition makes sense anymore.
Nor do I believe 'talking' as a skill in toddlers, is simply the ability for them to say out words.
That's just the vocabulary to me. And not knowing certain words does not mean they are slower or not as smart as kids who know that particular word. It just means that the kid has not been exposed to the word, that is all. I'm saying this coz i'm just concerned that some parents, when I say Soph can count from 1 to 10, compare it to their child's quiet ways with a disappointed face and as though Soph is a genius. Nvm the fact that we've been counting to Soph everyday, several times a day since before she was 1 and the fact that their child who's the same age as Soph could say a few words initially but has just stopped or refused to, probably due to his lack of interest in talking and his bigger interest in climbing and playing like a healthy, active boy.
And on the other side of the coin, the fact that he knows colours also means he was exposed to learning it, unlike Soph whom I expect not to recognise colours coz I haven't actively been exposing her to opportunities to learn them. It definitely does NOT mean "kids their age are supposed/not supposed to know how to say numbers 1-10/recognise colours".

I digress.

My definition of 'talking' is now the middle ground:
the ability for toddlers to say out words, be it a single word or a 2 to 4-words or more sentences, at appropriate times, in response to specific cues and questions with whatever number of vocab they have.

with this definition, i'd say Soph started talking at about 16-18 months. "more or less" - Oso style. hehe
upon deliberate observation, the whole of this morning, she's been talking/conversing with me like an adult would, but because the complexity of my questions and sentences were age appropriate, she was able to respond, request AND order(!) clearly and completely by utilising what words she already has in her current vocabulary.
it just goes to show how i hadn't noticed i have actually been conversing with her all along. a step above her just talking even.

by 'appropriate', i mean not merely repeating words after us but saying words that are relevant to a situation like "i did it!", "what's that?" and "what's this?"

to me, her gibberish sentences are a bonus to her 'talking'. it just means she enjoys talking and is confident doing so no matter how puzzled the audience are. just my opinion.

Other skills/developments

1. 1-10

she can count 1-10. 'count' meaning, saying the numbers out in order, not the arithmetical definition please.
she obviously doesn't know what amounts to 2 or 3 or 10 and so on.

like i mentioned above, we started exposing her to numbers 1-10 very early, especially 1-3.
she progressively learned how to say it.
read also: she cannot tell visually which numbers are called what ok?
she'd been able to say 1-10 out, but sometimes not in order or sometimes missing certain numbers.
eg. "1, 2, 3, 8, 6, 10!!" 1 and 10 have been constantly there at the right ends though ;P

since last week, she can now count 1 right up until 10 in the correct order without skipping a number. alhamdulillah :)

this video shows her counting to 5 and how cheeky this girl is.

1-5. or 2-5 to be exact

the making of.
she's mumbling and looking to the left coz she's looking at me and at her own cheeky reflection through a mirror

will try to capture the whole 1-10 when she's in a less mischievious mood ;)

2. Singing

i shan't say much and show you a vid of her singing instead, except
i) i think she sings somewhat in tune to the actual song
ii) most of the endings of each line in a song are what she's able to follow in a lot of songs

Soph singing 'Are You Sleeping'

can you hear how her version of 'morning bells are ringing' sound similar in both videos?

3. Acting

she remembers scenes of cartoons and movies, and acts them out complete with dialogue.
once, she did that for almost 5 minutes of the show, especially those prominent actions/gestures like pointing, lifting leg, turning around, bending, squatting, clapping, waving and closing mouth to laugh. now i know where she got her polite laughing 'style' from. Angelina Ballerina! and some other cartoons too if i remember right

4. Dancing

she seems to have the natural ability to dance in terms of rhythm and tempo :)

5. 'Motor(?)' skills on ipad

i'm aware that 99% of kids nowadays are skilled at using the ipad :D
Soph used to shoot angry birds in the wrong direction but now she knows it should go the other way.
she's also very good at 'baking' on one of the games we have on our ipad but i've posted that video here once.
she also knows to look in which 'folder' to find specific games. from memory, recognising how the app icon looks more than the memory of their usual location, coz she knows how to click the home button twice to be able to move the icons physically and she likes moving them around.
because of this, she has also deleted some apps

6. Art

no obvious conclusion can be derived yet ;)
so far she can doodle reasonably well. though not very interested in doing so.
she can't do much with clay but I assume they can create sthing only till later.
share with us if your child can do remarkable things with clay :) pleasee!

this is my work though. can you guess what it is? I love the movie. so does Soph. have you watched it?

7. Others

I sure do hope this is not a skill ;P

Just Be

2011-12-15T16:15:00.005+08:00

If you want to attract, be attractive.
Don't be lazy.
If you want to be admired, be admirable.
Don't just give up.
If you want to be a leader, be responsible.
Don't give silly excuses and assume others are blind or too stupid to see through your excuses.
If you want to be relied upon, be reliable.
Don't just expect to be trusted without proving your credibility.
In fact, don't prove that you're unreliable.
If you want respect, be respectable.
Don't just expect it without attempting to have values people would respect you for.
If you want to be loved, be lovable.
Don't just expect people to love you just because you love them. It doesn't work that way. Perhaps only in your dreams.
If you want others to enjoy you, be enjoyable.
Don't just expect others to want your company just because you want them to want it.

Just be and watch the difference it will make to your life.

An update on Breastfeeding

2011-12-15T13:33:00.000+08:00

I have stopped pumping about 2 months ago.
Partly due to low supply.
But mainly due to Soph refusing EBM in a bottle.

Am still continuing direct breastfeeding, after work, at night and on weekends.
Last I checked, milk is still coming out.
Not TMI I hope.

One night, while I was nursing Soph, she stopped sucking, pulled her head backwards and looked at the boob she was nursing on...

Soph : B. *hand in the air*
Me : *paused cause I wanted to avoid guessing the wrong thing since it might frustrate her. looked at hubby and he too had a questioning look on his face*
Me : Apa dia Soph?
Soph : Bis~ *hand gesture for "Habis"*
Me&Hubby : *LOL "How cute!" *

I pressed and saw milk come out. But I guess it was really slow, and not very much, especially after she's been at it a while.
So I totally understand why she said habis.
Haha
I imagined her thinking that it works like a bottle, exhaustive per feed and thought it very funny and amazingly cute indeed. Hehe

'EARLY terrible twos' exists after all

2011-12-13T18:13:00.000+08:00

I got my usual weekly email from babycenter this morning.
It's week 2 of Soph's 20-month mark.

This sentence caught my eye immediately:
"When the "terrible twos" arrive early, and the value of pretend play."

It hit so close to home, I was smiling the whole time, and was reassured that it's gonna be okay. The image of Soph as a well-behaved young girl in the future is more vivid now ;)

"You've been warned about the "terrible twos," but you may be unprepared for this rite of passage if your child has been cooperative up until now. The stage doesn't always begin exactly on your child's second birthday. Development experts say it can strike as early as 18 months and as late as 30 months (though some angelic children never go through this phase). How do you know if you're in the midst of the TTs? Look for new signs of assertiveness from your toddler. Hallmark behaviors to watch for: He may insist on doing exactly what you've told him not to do or throw himself down on the floor in a fit of temper (she just did this yesterday, she threw herself backwards and expected me to catch her. thank God I managed to grab her enough to reduce the force of her hitting her head on the carpeted floor and thank God it was carpeted. though she still hit the floor to my dismay. alhamdulillah, it could've been worse. hopefully she knows not to do it next time. Although I anticipated her throwing her head back, I actually didn't really think she would do it as I wasn't holding her but was prepared anyway. she has done that a couple of times while in my arms before) if he doesn't get his way. His demands may alternately frustrate and amuse you. At times, for example, he'll likely ask for something that he doesn't even want, (this one gets me a bit worked up sometimes coz it's tiring enough trying to find out what she wants so I can give it to her. when it doesn't seem as though she has made up her mind on what she wants exactly and we're going back and forth on the same items, with each of my 'offer' getting a shrill exclamation of rejection. I guess it bothers me that in the end she is still upset despite my efforts to satisfy her wants if they're reasonable. That, and the fact that she is in fact capable of telling us what she wants but refuses to do so. Not to mention my fear of possibly spoiling her with my "OK2, Soph nak yang mana ni?"x10. Well, I think it's quite safe since I try to get to the bottom of what she wants before a meltdown can begin and the louder she screams, the less likely I am to give it to her when I finally know what it is she wants) just to see if he has enough power to get it."

(source: as usual, babycenter)

I am not complaining about Soph's tantrums by sharing the above challenges I am faced with a lot, of late.
I believe I just haven't found the best way to handle my Soph's outburst when she's overwhelmed with frustration.
I am after all supposed to customise my parenting ways to fit my child, I've read, which makes sense.
I think I am getting closer though as I learn more about her personality each day,
and as I observe the reaction I get from experimenting with different approaches to handling her meltdowns.

Babycenter's suggestions of what you can do when your child has a tantrum works as I've tried them myself:

"the best thing to do during a temper episode is keep your cool, stay close to your child (to increase your chances of successfully catching his or her 'fall'. very important if your child has a tendency to throw himself on the floor like mine when upset), and let him release his feelings. A hug and a shoulder to cry on may be all that some toddlers need to feel better, while others may benefit from the distraction technique (this one works for us sometimes but more often than not it will make Soph cry even harder coz she'd know if we're trying to distract her) — offer him another activity or toy."

"If you're in a public place or at someone's house, pick up your child and take him someplace where the two of you can sit calmly until the feelings subside."
(Before going to a public place, I usually try to envision/research escape routes and locations with wide open spaces should she have an outburst. To be safe I'd have to assume it would happen although that's not always the case. Soph can be a darling too :D)

Some of her tantrums start when she refuses to do stuff I want her to do, and which absolutely has to be done like washing her after she has soiled her diapers, washing her hair, putting clothes on, brushing her hair and several more :P

I was grateful to also find this in my email today
"My toddler refuses to get dressed in the morning. What should I do? "
Amazing huh? how babycenter sends me the most relevant updates ;D
Only it doesn't matter if it's in the morning or at night, she can refuse to get dressed whenever.
So much so that half the time, on occassions where she willingly gets dressed, you have no idea how light I feel. hehe

"Take heart: This is such a common parent-child struggle that I'd say 90 percent of toddlers do this. If you think about it, dressing is a good arena in which to assert one's independence, something your child is learning to do right now. And when a toddler knows his mom or dad wants him to do something urgently, that's exactly when he's going to resist doing that very thing."

"Instead of letting him see that his behavior is ruffling your feathers, stay calm."

Babycenter strategies:
1. Offer no more than 2 choices (haven't tried this one. since at the mo, it's not about which she wants, it's about her NOT wanting it at all)
2. Address and distract "I know you don't want to take off your pajamas — they're so comfy," you might say. "Here, can you please hold your toy car while I help you get into your underwear?" (haven't really tried addressing coz it's hard to shout over her "No"s. Distracting I've been doing a lot though. I've tried getting her to sing with me while I do the things she is likely to put up a fight over)
3. Toddlers also don't respond well to being hurried, so if it's at all possible, try not to make mornings a big rush. (have to make a point to do this because I'm always sweating and in a harried rush, chasing her around the house to put on her diapers, and outfit for the day. this is usually because I want to delay facing her tantrums so I put off getting her ready till I absolutely have to. heheh)
4. It also doesn't hurt to let your toddler be in charge of what he wears sometimes. (not very applicable to me yet. but it's coming soon. a few days ago she's started insisting on wearing her Barney Space Adventures t-shirt 2 days in a row, after a week of "get it off me!" reaction when I try to put on the said t-shirt.

Final words,
Good Luck fellow moms! :D

Sophia's artwork

2011-12-01T13:30:00.000+08:00

Sophia (and I) made this for her Abah's birthday last month :)
It was inspired by pinterest where I combined 2 ideas in 1.

Idea 1: paste paint tapes in the form of name/word(s) and paint over with colours. You could also use alphabet stickers

(source)

Idea 2: write on a bottle/mason jar with a glue gun and paint over with glass paint

(source)

I didn't have paint tapes or alphabet stickers, and I didn't want to use cellophane tape. well, i did make 1 with cellophane tape but it looked yellowish against the white paper. I didn't like the look of it so I threw it away.
but guess what? I've only now realised I was supposed to take the tape off after painting. so the result wouldn't have been yellowish words, but words of the colour of the paper instead. so silly!

Anyway, when I saw Idea 2 on pinterest, I thought of combining the idea with Idea 1.

Steps:
1. I typed out the words/wordings I wanted to use, I think I used light colours for the font.
2. Printed it out on a piece of white A4 paper.
3. Switched on my glue gun and ran glue all over the words. This was quite tricky to do as there were strands of glue all over the paper at first. The OCD side of me was getting quite annoyed but eventually I decided to relax and let it be all messy first. I figured I could just cut the strands later. I was racing against time too as I didn't want Soph to wake up while I was still working on it. She might want to join me and that is out of the question.
4. I neatened out the strands in between letters by cutting them close to surface of the letters.
5. Waited for Soph to wake up.
6. Handed Soph some brushes and some paint colours.
7. Let Soph paint away!

Unfortunately, Soph got bored before it was done. At least I wished she would've continued. There were still lots of white spaces left. hehe
So I tried to make her at least just go over the letters.

8. Smooth any patches of thick paint down with a piece of paper or a brush.

I kinda like the result although you can't really read her age clearly coz of the colour combination there.
Good job Soph! :)

Words to live by, for parents

2011-11-30T11:14:00.002+08:00

I found both on pinterest. If you haven't registered an account on pinterest.com yet, go do it now. Lemme know if you want an invite :)

Mummy and Me

2011-11-20T01:50:00.007+08:00

My first fotobook!
Thanks Sits! :D
It took 2 months for them to process it though. Glad the quality turned out great.
I don't suggest you buy from them again in the near future though.
Don't think they have the manpower or process efficiency to fulfil orders in a timely fashion.
Not until they do something to improve their order capacity, at least.
Nonetheless, since I wasn't planning to give it as a gift to anyone, it was worth the wait.
I'll compare it to the quality of photobook once I redeem that voucher, probably in March.

The cover

I called it '9 months to Sophia' since I included photos of my pregnancy, as well as her newborn photos, not intended for public viewing coz there are also photos of my bare belly during pregnancy ;P

From the time I discovered I was pregnant, then the whole 9 months of my first pregnancy,

up till the day she was born and some photos of her early months.
guess where I got the inspiration for the design of the left-side of the page above ;)

Sophia calls herself 'Sia'/'Shia'.
We call her So-fee-ya. Not So-fia.
I guess she can't pronounce 'fee' yet, so 'See-ya' or 'Shee-ya' is the closest she can say for now ;)
she's also very interested to talk. she'd now say 'what that?'='what's that' all the time, pointing to things, wanting to know what to call them. Her vocab is growing so fast, alhamdulillah.
I recorded all of the words she can currently say in my ipad (to the best of my ability) but no need for me to reveal here, how many words are on that list. Just for my record :)

Below is a video of her working the iPad.
I think she's gonna be an awesome baker this one ;)

Compassionate Soph

2011-11-19T23:43:00.001+08:00

I've been down with a fever and cough for 3 days now. Body aching, trembling,muscles and joints are also aching.
Meds are kicking in i suppose, so am feeling relatively well for now.

Pulled a muscle (or something) after dinner this evening which left my left side immobilised for a couple of hours. It was similar to the excruciating pain in the ribs i experienced during the last trimester of pregnancy.
But this one didn't feel broken or anything like that, there was also no snapping sound. The location of the pain was also different. This time, the pain was higher up on my back. But what's similar is that it felt like someone kicked me in my side. Hard.

I was writhing in pain.
At first control macho, continued preparing Soph's dinner. After 10 minutes i surrendered and asked my mom to help me give Soph her dinner. Dragged myself to the living room and lied down on the couch. Hubby was so sweet to ask me ifi wanted a massage but i signalled not to touch my back. I could barely even move.

Soph watched me trying to overcome the pain. She almost cried so i told her i was ok, stopped moving, gritted my teeth and looked the other side.
Her Abah led her to Nanny so she can have dinner.
From where she was sitting and eating, she could see me.
So she glanced over a couple of times, to check if i was okay.

Finally, seeing that i was alone, she came over and pulled me by the hand, to where she was sitting.
She continued eating her rice.
After a while, she stood up to give me a bite from her apple! So sweet!
Then she picked up her plate of rice, and turned around to face me.
I thought she wanted me to watch her eat.
Instead, she held the plate with one hand, and with the other hand, scooped some rice into her spoon, and fed me.
Sooooo sweeett.
Imagine, a 19 month old having the emotional capacity to do that. Simply amazing kuasa Allah.
She was so concerned about me being in pain.
I was so touched by her kindness and compassion. The gift of a daughter.
Alhamdulillah :)

Sophia's apology

2011-11-16T13:33:00.000+08:00

speaking about naughtiness a few posts ago,
Sophia was alarmingly persistent in testing her boundaries yesterday.
tested my patience as well, she did.
for the most part i was calm and firm i think.

but when she woke up at 3am screaming, after going to sleep past midnight mind you, impatient about getting her bottled milk, I got pretty annoyed.
I got a good glimpse of the terrible 2 stage.
She's 19 months old now, not too early to start I guess.
Well, she is 2 if you round up her age anyways :P

I know this power struggle will maintain its presence for several years to come. More so at certain age/phases than others.
I just have to keep learning how best to deal with it. How to adapt my way of dealing with it to Sophia's character, as I get to know her personality better. How not to get too upset when dealing with it. I still have a longgg way to go in that department. Mostly due to my current sleep deprivation I believe. I think I would've still been able to keep my cool had I gone to sleep at 1030pm instead of 1am. So in a few years' time, when I get a good night's sleep, I hope to be able to better deal with it.

I can tell you now that tantrums don't necessarily stop when one becomes an adult, but I hope my little one will grow up into an adult who knows when not to throw a tantrum. and why not to. insyaAllah. I have faith, with the right efforts and guidance from my support system (babycenter included), it is possible.

anyway, the highlight of my day yesterday was when I taught Soph to apologise.
I figured if i can't stop her from going through this phase, i can at least try to make it easier on everyone, and somehow make it more pleasant in the end. effective Communication is key. i would like Soph to be able to confidently express her feelings and opinions to me as she grows older, but that doesn't mean she can be rude. I would like her to obtain the skill to express herself politely. I believe it will do her personal, social and professional life/relationships wonders. I have yet to master that skill.

So, last night, before nursing her, I asked her why she was so fussy during her bath that evening. she had refused to let me rinse shampoo off her hair, and was fighting me the whole time. I had tried my best not to make it into a big deal, hugged her, said it's nothing, basuh rambut je, no need to get upset, and continued to wash her hair, doing everything in my power to make sure water doesn't get into her eyes and ears.

Of course she didn't answer why she was being difficult.
I looked her in the eye and explained to her she didn't have to struggle, "cuci rambut je, takde apa pon kan", and that next time to just wait a minute while i rinsed.

Then I told her "say, Sorry Mama. I won't do it again... How? Sorry Mama?"

Sophia:
"sowy.. sowyy..
sowy nanannynana..
sowy na..
sowy manana..
sowy mamaa"

LOL

so cute!
while she was trying, I repeated "sorry mama?" a few times to help her.

She got it eventually.
I'm very proud that she tried until she could say it right.

However, I pushed my luck and said "now sorry Abah pulak?".

Sophia:
"Abah. sowy mama..
sowy na.. sowy..
sowy mama.. Abah"

heheh
takpe cuba lagi :)

well done on your effort Soph sayang!
Don't be naughty, please.
Be the good girl you are okay?
Love you so much!
I'm happy to see you talking in phrases now.

-"i sit"
-"i shim" = i swim
-"sit dum" = sit down
-"naik atas"
-"here i come"

you also say "you're welcome" when we say thank you.
sometimes you'd say "tenchu" = thank you.
i guess you're confused and can't differentiate when we're trying to make you say 'thank you' and when we're actually thanking you. coz I've noticed that we use both the same way. when we hand you something, we say 'thank you' to get you to say do the same, followed by 'you're welcome', and when you hand us something, we'd say 'thank you'. at least i do, but I think I naturally use different intonation. or maybe i say 'say thank you' when trying to get you to say it.

anyway, yesterday, I realised your language skills are developing.

pointing to my knees, coz you wanted me to lie down and bend my knees so you could slide down on them, i asked you "like this?".
you answered, "like that".

"okay, maybe that was a coincidence" i thought. so i just smiled and proceeded to let you use me as a playground.

then you wanted to watch youtube. you were pointing at a thumbnail of a video, so i pointed with the cursor "yg tu?",
"yg ni" you answered while pointing on the screen.

hmm coincidence again?
i told Abah anyways.
we just acknowledged that you're getting better at conversing :)

Bleeding love

2011-11-15T13:05:00.000+08:00

Soph loves me soo much, she bit me.

Well I think she loves me, and she did bite me.
But I doubt they're related.

She bit me real hard on the inside of my left thigh. near the knee.
she had been showing real interest to bite me on my thighs and she finally managed to do it last night!
it bled just slightly.
the funny thing that still puzzles me was how she managed to bite me with her pacifier on.

she head-dived onto my lap,
i thought it was safe coz of her dummy in her mouth.
with her face planted in my thigh, i felt a sudden sharp pinch.
my reflex was to jerk my knee while grabbing on to her, to keep her from falling backwards or sideways.
one hand on her back, and the other to cup her face, to get between her teeth and my skin.
i felt her pacifier instead.
next thing i knew, she almost had the whole pacifier in her mouth, except for the top part.
lol
she does that to goof around sometimes.
nasib tak masuk semua dlm mulut je. probably not very likely since the dummy isn't too small.

Biting her back has never crossed my mind though, like this article suggests some parents do. I personally don't see how it may work.

Taken from babycenter.com:

"Teeth (and "claws") are natural weapons for all young mammals, so your child's first instinct is to use them when she feels threatened or needs something. She doesn't truly understand that biting (and pinching and pulling hair) is forbidden, let alone "wrong." So when she bites, even if she does it gently and playfully, immediately and clearly convey to her that biting isn't acceptable.

If her "kisses" turn into aggressive nibbles, for instance, remove her from your lap with a firm "no biting." She's still too young for lengthy explanations about why biting is bad; it's enough at this point to simply tell her that she must not bite under any circumstances."

this is how i've been preventing her from biting. removing her from boobs, thighs, arms when she does it. or when she's about to sink her teeth but i also don't make it a big deal. coz i'm afraid that might make her wanna do it even more.

"Make sure, too, that you don't inadvertently reward your toddler for biting. Of course, teeth marks will get your attention, but don't pick her up — even if it's to reprimand her. If your child bites another child, focus your attention on the injured party rather than on the biter — who may take even negative attention as reinforcement for doing it again.

While you need to firmly tell your child that biting isn't okay, actually punishing her for the behavior isn't very effective at getting her to stop. In fact, punitive measures may put an angry or overstimulated child right over the top."

Naughty vs Nature

2011-11-10T09:53:00.007+08:00

I've started my journey in observing my child's behaviour and learning how to discipline my child without compromising the amount of love I show her.
I believe we will never notice at which point exactly that our kids will be 'old enough' to start being disciplined.

So my thinking has always been, as long as I tell her what is right and wrong from as early as I can, and be consistent as in not give in to things that are really vital for me not to give in like when it comes to safety and respect for others, we should be alright. I just have to keep observing and be more stern when I deem she's old enough not to do stuff babies and toddlers are ~~meant~~ expected to do, like spit out food for example. she's already improving, signal to me or someone else to tadah tgn before she spits her food out. well, sometimes lah. sometimes I have to remind my hubby she's a 1-yr old. How to marah a kid that age who is still learning how to eat, how to drink, how to basically live. Tegur is fine. But don't regard that as misbehaviour, YET. At least I think so.

For the time being, while she's at this age, if she hits other kids or something (which she has never done (yet?) Alhamdulillah), we are responsible to stop the behaviour by telling her no and taking her away from the other kid. About her spitting food out, either don't bring her for fine dining meals, make it easier to clean once she's done eating by putting on bibs or have a wet cloth nearby. Again, we are responsible to clean up her mess. She's also learning about food, what she likes and doesn't like. Since she can't exactly tell us yet how salty any food is or how something tastes nice or not nice, what else can we expect her to do to take the food out? Grab a tissue/paper towel and spit in that instead? I doubt many of us adults even do that. In public, much less at home. I also doubt we spit on the floor/carpet either but you get my point.
So is it fair to scold her for that? I don't think so.

Anyway, what got me blogging about this is the discovery of '10 Principles of Good Parenting' through another blog I used to frequent but haven't been for more than a year maybe, due to Persistent Bothersome reasons. until today I felt a bit free and was curious about the parts of her life I loved to read, her kids.

However, it irks me that that blog along with millions out there, don't cite their sources.
I wanted to read more about the article. and I also wanted to share the 10 principles here, but didn't want to do that if i didn't have the source to include. So I googled a paragraph from the list and found the source. Hooray! Now you get to read it too :P

Here are Dr. Steinberg's 10 principles of good parenting:

1. What you do matters. Whether it's your own health behaviors or the way you treat other people, your children are learning from what you do. "This is one of the most important principles," Steinberg explains. "What you do makes a difference...Don't just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result?"

2. You cannot be too loving. "It is simply not possible to spoil a child with love," Steinberg writes. "What we often think of as the product of spoiling a child is never the result of showing a child too much love. It is usually the consequence of giving a child things in place of love -- things like leniency, lowered expectations, or material possessions."

3. Be involved in your child's life. "Being an involved parent takes time and is hard work, and it often means rethinking and rearranging your priorities. It frequently means sacrificing what you want to do for what your child needs to do. Be there mentally as well as physically."

Being involved does not mean doing a child's homework -- or correcting it. "Homework is a tool for teachers to know whether the child is learning or not," Steinberg says. "If you do the homework, you're not letting the teacher know what the child is learning."

4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child. Keep pace with your child's development. Your child is growing up. Consider how age is affecting the child's behavior.

"The same drive for independence that is making your 3-year-old say 'no' all the time is what's motivating him to be toilet trained," writes Steinberg. "The same intellectual growth spurt that is making your 13-year-old curious and inquisitive in the classroom also is making her argumentative at the dinner table."

5. Establish and set rules. "If you don't manage your child's behavior when he is young, he will have a hard time learning how to manage himself when he is older and you aren't around. Any time of the day or night, you should always be able to answer these three questions: Where is my child? Who is with my child? What is my child doing? The rules your child has learned from you are going to shape the rules he applies to himself.

"But you can't micromanage your child," Steinberg notes. "Once they're in middle school, you need to let the child do their own homework, make their own choices and not intervene."

6. Foster your child's independence. "Setting limits helps your child develop a sense of self-control. Encouraging independence helps her develop a sense of self-direction. To be successful in life, she's going to need both."

It's normal for children to push for autonomy, says Steinberg. "Many parents mistakenly equate their child's independence with rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel controlled by someone else."

7. Be consistent. "If your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion or if you enforce them only intermittently, your child's misbehavior is your fault, not his. Your most important disciplinary tool is consistency. Identify your non-negotiables. The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it."

8. Avoid harsh discipline. Parents should never hit a child, under any circumstances, Steinberg says. "Children who are spanked, hit, or slapped are more prone to fighting with other children," he writes. "They are more likely to be bullies and more likely to use aggression to solve disputes with others."

"There are many other ways to discipline a child -- including 'time out' -- which work better and do not involve aggression."

9. Explain your rules and decisions. "Good parents have expectations they want their child to live up to," he writes. "Generally, parents overexplain to young children and underexplain to adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. He doesn't have the priorities, judgment, or experience that you have."

10. Treat your child with respect. "The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully," Steinberg writes. "You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for her relationships with others."

For example, if your child is a picky eater: "I personally don't think parents should make a big deal about eating," Steinberg says. "Children develop food preferences. They often go through them in stages. You don't want to turn mealtimes into unpleasant occasions. Just don't make the mistake of substituting unhealthy foods. If you don't keep junk food in the house, they won't eat it."

(source)

The points I find most important and I really don't want to forget, are in bold.

Now that I've put down the source, I will be able to read further what else the author has to say about parenting later. So can you! :P

p/s :

also taken from the article:
"Good parenting helps foster empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness, says Steinberg, a distinguished professor of psychology at Temple University in Philadelphia."

I would like for Soph to have all the above traits :) Amin

This pain of mine

2011-11-09T13:01:00.002+08:00

Am having super heavy menstruation (TMI).
But the point I wanted to make was...
the cramps remind me of labor pain.

The End

The Oso Dance

2011-11-05T14:54:00.001+08:00

This was the dance I was talking about here.
See the squats?

Tearful, Fearful and Grateful

2011-11-03T01:07:00.006+08:00

Last Monday night, Sophia was doing the dance she'd do everytime her Abah sings the Special Agent Oso song.
It was something I wanted to capture on video.
But thought I could do that later.
Now I don't think I'll ask her to dance that dance again.

Coz shortly after the numerous times she danced which includes squatting halfway for a few seconds each time, her left knee looked like it shifted when she tried to walk, right in front of my eyes. There were at least 3 other people who were playing with her too. But I'm not sure they saw what I saw. She was alarmed, but tried to step with her left leg again. Again, her knee buckled beneath her. And again. At least 3 times she tried. She didn't actually fall. Not sure if you can imagine the knee just buckling, with the knee moving to one side (looked like the knee moved to the back to me) in a jerking movement, putting her off balance but she remained on her feet.

Then she got scared and maybe it started to become painful so she whined and wanted to be carried.
I started getting panicky. I think I said "Momm, she can't walkk!" who was also around us. I think she saw it too if i'm not mistaken.

when i carried her she was fine. so i tried putting her down to see if she could walk then.
my heart fell when the knee did that again.
I was immediately tearful and panic-stricken. Like 'oh my goshhh we need to get help'.
but I was trying very hard not to show how terrified I was coz I didn't want to scare Soph.

we went to SDMC's emergency and noticed the size of the crowd.
we registered her, and waited.
while waiting we spoke of fear that the GP is not a specialist who could make matters worse and fear that Soph will not co-operate and what 'good' would the temperature-taking procedure have on her. Plus, I was also thinking about the endless possibilities of air-borne viruses and bacteria floating around us.
So my mom made a call to a family doctor who said he'd drop by our house for a house call.
Alhamdulillah so sweet of him

So he came by and looked at Soph's knees.
he confirmed a swelling on her left knee but ruled out fractures or torn ligaments because she wasn't in constant pain.
but he said a crack was possible.
we informed him of the fall she had exactly a week before.
right on her left knee.

A fall to remember

we were at a sushi restaurant.
she was standing with me close by, but she wasn't within an arm's reach.
she saw a family approaching the door of the restaurant.
being Soph, and probably thinking they were chasing her, she turned and ran. or maybe both at the same time, coz before she could do a complete turn, she tripped on her own legs sbb nak cepat sgt, and had a split-second fall with all her weight dropping on her left knee. my mom and I were stunned coz it looked like a pretty bad fall. i rushed to pick her up but we were both silent, waiting for the yowl, watching if she could stand. she immediately whined and it was obvious it hurt. but maybe not as much as we expected it to.
I was grateful she walked fine and she continued playing after less than a minute of pressing her own knee. it was instantly red, with the skin on her left knee slightly grazed but no blood. Alhamdulillah

whether or not that fall is related to her knee injury on Monday, wallahualam, possibly yes, possibly no.

The Diagnosis

there wasn't much he could do that very night so the doctor left our house after advising us to put any type of heating ointment on her knee and to monitor her.

Soph was fine that night, and by fine i mean she wasn't in pain when she was sitting or lying down. but walking was painful for her. so she didn't want to walk, couldn't. her face showed some fear, or confusion about what was happening to her, and why all of a sudden it hurts to walk.
But somehow, she could bend her knees fully, and straighten them without any signs of pain.
she could even sit on her knees in the 'w' position. i call it the w position. like duduk di antara dua sujud but with your inner thighs and calves touching the floor, if u can imagine.

So the next day, despite wishing soo hard it's back to normal, I tried putting her down to see if she could walk. She couldn't.
We brought her to an orthopedic surgeon and joints specialist (?) at a rehab/physio center.
The doctor was puzzled she could bend and straighten both her legs without any pain yet signalled pain and refusal to put pressure on the left leg/foot.

At this age she can't tell us where it hurts exactly so we had to rely on her reaction and facial expression. Soph was scared of the doctor and his assistant. so it was difficult to base whether or not she's feeling any pain based on her cries. The doctor pressed on her knees and told his assistant to watch if she grimaces at any point. she didn't even wince, she just rested her left cheek on Nanny's shoulder the whole time, avoiding eye contact with the assistant.

Next, the doc did the same with her ankle. this time, she made 'unh' sounds when the doctor pressed on her ankle. and the assistant said "dia cebik".
Hence, the doctor's conclusion was that she injured her ankle and not her knee.
Though I had to ask "then why is her knee swollen?", coz he too had said earlier that it was swollen, reaffirming the words of the doctor who made the house call.

All of us agreed (including the doc) that we would wait 1 or 2 days before we consider having her leg x-rayed. simply because she wasn't in pain unless she tried to walk. There wasn't yet a need to expose her to the radioactive rays.

I wasn't convinced it was her ankle but let the doctor bandage her ankle anyway.
He said to give her pain relief meds and monitor for 2 days.
I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
I knew he could be right and I did not discount that fact.
He could be right, even if Soph had injured her ankle, I doubt she'd rub her ankle.
I still thought it was possible she meant her ankle when she rubbed her knee.
I also agreed that even if she had hurt her ankle, her knee could've buckled too as a reflex.

BUT my instincts still told me it was her knee. On top of that, I saw with my own eyes something wasn't quite right with how her knee 'shifted'.
even if the doctor was wrong and I was right, and I guess (hope?) we'll never know, I wouldn't judge him as a bad doctor.
He only had our accounts of what happened to base his conclusion on.
We could have communicated the event wrongly.
Or, we could have interpreted the event wrongly.
Totally understandable.
He couldn't see beyond Soph's skin and as far as he could see she wasn't in pain except when she tried to stand or walk, which was puzzling to him, and to us of course.

Whatever it was, that very same day, which happened to be her Abah's birthday, Soph's knee/ankle recovered on its own and she could walk again. and run. and jump. and dance. Alhamdulillah.
boy was she ecstatic. she kept swinging her left leg almost to test if it's really working again.
i was beyond relieved to see her being her normal happy self again, the scared look on her face had been replaced with glee and satisfaction.

This is my theory at which point her knee/ankle recovered

As my niece walked through the door that afternoon, Soph got excited as usual and launched her body to get to Amy. I was holding her by her armpits, one moment she was laughing, the next she was screaming, flailing and crying.
I was alarmed and instantly thought she had hurt something again. but seconds after, she stopped and wanted to walk to Amy on her own.
So I dismissed it, thinking she cried all of a sudden because was frustrated coz I was holding her when she wanted to run.

At the same time I was confused why she suddenly insisted on walking, again dismissing it as overexcitement.
My brother who'd learned about her not being able to walk was surprised to see her walking albeit holding my hand.
I was too!
I was waiting for the whimper just like the times she had attempted to walk.

When she didn't seem to be in pain, i let go of her hand but followed behind her very closely, ready to catch her.
soon she started hopping, dancing, kicking and prancing. I was cringeing the whole time and kept pleading for her to stop and be careful.
Hubby and I sat there watching her, relieved, confused and apprehensive.
From then, she was as active as she normally is, perhaps a tiny bit more. she did have a slight limp at first though, perhaps it was still a bit sore.

So I suspect, whatever it was that wasn't right in her knee or ankle, corrected itself that afternoon when she suddenly started screaming and flailing. Alhamdulillah no further complication so far.

my instinct tells me it was her knee. wallahualam

Sophia's car humour continues

2011-11-02T13:45:00.002+08:00

We were in the car, on our way to dinner to celebrate my hubby's birthday, and hubby was driving.
He did a u-turn and the car swerved a bit coz he wanted to avoid a pothole..

Sophia exclaimed "whoaa~", while swaying her body as though trying to regain balance.

Again, the timing seemed like she was 'commenting' on her Abah's driving.

But this time I wasn't the only one who heard and saw her in action.
My mom and Soph's cousins witnessed it too! :D

Sophia's antics

2011-10-31T18:49:00.003+08:00

Sophia inherited my interest of poking fun at her Abah, like i mentioned in this blog entry of mine where Soph made fun of her Abah's lack of table manners, chomping with his mouth open. Heheh

Today, we were stuck in traffic, with the car moving a few feet and stopping numerous times.
Suddenly, I noticed Soph swaying her body to and fro. I knew instantly what she was doing.
She was imitating the jerking of the car which made us sitting at the backseat go forwards and backwards each time.
I couldn't help laughing coz it is exactly something I would do, instead of asking hubby to try and reduce jerkiness, i'd soo do the to and fro thing. Hahaha

Yesterday, we were also in the car, hubby and I were talking about archery or something. Soph was sitting quietly in the car seat. Both of us were talking quite animatedly to each other. Mid-conversation Sophia said "Hi!" to us, complete with a wave.
That shut us up for a second and left us laughing. We felt she was trying to say "hey mom n dad.. I'm heree! Remember me?" lol

I underestimate my daughter

2011-10-29T23:05:00.000+08:00

Sophia loves to swim. But it's been raining every evening.
Trying to think of ways she could swim despite the weather, i first tried to think of the differences between Soph swimming and Soph having a bath in her tub.
She can't actually swim, per se. She sits or splashes around, playing with her cups and toys in her plastic pool. Exactly what she does in her tub too. But the differences i was able to come up with were:
1. Swimming = outdoor, bath = indoor
2. Swimming = in a swimsuit, bath = in her birthday suit.

I thought difference #1 wasn't too big a deal for Soph coz i'd thought as long as there's water, she'd be thrilled enough. So, thinking I was doing her a favour, I told her "let's go 'shim' ", put her swimsuit on her, and led her to the bathroom, ready to fill her tub up. I assumed with her swimsuit on, Soph would feel like she's going swimming.

Boy, was i wrong!
As soon as she realised where we were going to have our swim, she bawled a heartbroken cry.
Inconsolable, hurt sobs.
She thought i lied to her! :(
Even her Abah came to us to ask if Soph had fallen.

Her tearful wail almost made me cry myself.
So kesian rasa betrayed. Like "how could u! U know how much i love 'shimming' "
I would've brought her out to her pool if it wasn't night time.
She didn't calm down straight away but was able to enjoy the water eventually.
She was indifferent when i took her suit off ;P

Soph at Toys R Us, playing with Baby Alive :)

A Nautical Bridal Shower

2011-10-27T13:31:00.007+08:00

Our friend Sya is getting married in less than a month!
So we had a bridal shower for her, to celebrate her last days of being single ;D
It was one of the most elaborate showers this group of friends has ever organised.
Partly because the theme was quite simple and easy to focus on.
Anything stripey, blue, white and red would fit.

I'd say this shower was the most successful in terms of delegation of tasks.
Each of us had equally important tasks we were each responsible for.
We were separated into smaller teams to handle food, gifts for the bride-to-be, decoration and photo props, favors, and games. Am I missing any 'department' here? hehe
We even had a treasurer. lol

We did almost all of the preparations ourselves except for the design and printing of the table signs as well as the favor tags which were beautifully done by BelliButtons Party House.
If you're looking for a party planner or if you're just looking to print your party printables, they're the one you should go to first coz apart from their amazing work, their customer service is excellent. If you're like me, and you care about the pre- and post-services as much as the products themselves, you'd love getting their help for your next party too!
Here are photos of the table signs as well as the favor tags:

the quality of the paper/cards were good too in case you can't tell from the photos.

here's a photo of all of us.
the table lamps behind us created clouds above some of our heads though

I had to leave before the games started, Soph was waiting for her Mummy.
Sorry Sya! Hope you felt loved and had a good time at your shower.
Sya's the one with the red feather boa btw :)

Don't Duck It

2011-10-26T19:37:00.010+08:00

Last Saturday, my sis, myself and our friend Lilly attended an event to promote breast and cervical cancer awareness that was held at JayaOne. It was my first time there btw.

There were several things on the itinerary of the event but we only joined the flashmob which happened that night. It was my first flash mob. Yes I do wish to participate again in the future :)
I thought it was really fun but I personally think it would've been better if it was more spontaneous. Like us breaking into a dance rather than moving to the middle of the location from the designated areas. I'm pretty sure that's the basic idea of a flash mob anyways. hehe. perhaps there was a reason why it was planned the way it was, I wouldn't know. kudos to the organisers and the choreographer nonetheless. I'm sure it wasn't easy to plan. what with most people learning the steps from a video on youtube. I myself went for one of the rehearsals 10 minutes before it ended, at least to get an idea of where it would be taking place. the rest of the time, I followed the video.

while waiting, at Starbucks

it was something fun for myself that I could easily accommodate into my schedule because
1. i didn't have to attend the rehearsals if i didn't want to, i could've just learned the steps from the video
2. i didn't have to look for a babysitter for the actual day since Soph could be there with me and I only needed someone to watch Soph at the venue the whole 2 minutes of the song. in this case, hubby looked after Soph while I danced. Soph danced to the music too, and she saw her Amma dance :)

Sophia's bling. it came with the necklace she was also wearing. 4 sets of necklaces, bracelets and rings in 4 different colours. she grabbed it in toys r us and refused to let go ;)

us girls :)

here are some videos courtesy of my twin's hubby. thanks Riz! I thought it was cool that in one frame, all 3 of us were visible. nicee ;P

as you can see, i'm not a very good dancer, but I do enjoy dancing :D
the videos are not of very good quality yet I could see myself bumping into someone. lol

Glassy eyed

2011-10-24T22:01:00.005+08:00

don't worry, this pair of glasses Sophia's wearing is without lenses :)

I just changed the frame of my glasses on Sunday. my lenses are a bit expensive coz my eyesight is quite bad. so i decided to use the same lenses on a new frame. 3 years ago i had to choose between thick googly goggly eyes (ugly) lenses or the more expensive thinner ones. I chose to go with thinner (thinner wallet too. lol). they're still in good condition plus i only use glasses at home anyway. so mmg tak perlu buang duit buat an entirely new pair.

as usual, Sophia's new words/phrases:
- "Nanny cose door" = Nanny close door
- "nowsh" = nose
- "sosh" = sauce
- "sit don" = sit down
- "it's a nana" = it's a banana
- "go to sheep" = go to sleep (she sang along to the nursery rhyme ".. it's time to go to sleep.."
- "go go go" = with arms raised when cheering, or arms and body leaning towards the direction she wants to be carried to

Lockstep

2011-10-24T11:08:00.002+08:00

Words of the day:

Lockstep (from m-w.com)
1: a mode of marching in step by a body of persons going one after another as closely as possible
2: a standard method or procedure that is mindlessly adhered to or that minimizes individuality

Gaslighting (from Wiki)
a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim with the intent of making them doubt their own memory and perception. It may simply be the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, or it could be the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.
(This is really sad. Most people do it to a certain extent I think. The range is huge too from what I can see. Perhaps married couples tend to use it as a defensive mechanism whether or not we realise it but maybe that's more of denial than abuse. I believe this one the recipient can identify quite clearly. On the other hand, I imagine this is what physical abusers do after their act, they use psychological abuse to try to escape by making the victims second-guess that they were in fact wronged in the first place. Then there are the ones in the middle, where gaslighting is intentionally (but not necessarily consciously?) used by one to get his or her way, through emotional manipulation)

6!

2011-10-23T23:03:00.002+08:00

An image i didn't get to capture on camera but will keep in my memory: Sophia and her Abah holding hands, jumping and shouting "yeayyy!". Then Abah shouted "6!!!!", Sophia, she shouted "6 7 8!" :'D

Man City 6, Man U 1

Paint me a picture

2011-10-22T02:04:00.007+08:00

Shimmy

2011-10-20T03:55:00.001+08:00

- "shim" = swim
- "peas" = peas
- "whee" = slide (both noun and verb)
- "cake" = cake (previously "keek")
- "apen" = open

Last night, Soph was sitting on her Abah's lap, playing the ipad, when suddenly she held out her hand, passed me the ipad, stood up and made her way into my lap :)

I wanna go home to my baby

2011-10-18T08:54:00.003+08:00

I can't get the image of the 2-yr-old getting hit by a van and a lorry in China, laying there and bleeding for God knows how long, out of my mind, since I saw the CCTV clip on the news yesterday. And the image of the mother scooping her baby up from the side of the road in a panic, possibly unaware her daughter could have broken bones among others. na'uzubillah :'|

Today I googled to see if the girl survived, and found that she died on 16th October after suffering brain injuries..
Of course I caught more glimpses of the photos while googling and couldn't help the tears from falling.
And now the only thing I feel like doing is running back to my baby and hugging her tight for as long as I can. I already did that last night, but couldn't get enough of her no matter how close I hugged her body to mine, no matter how deep I breathe in her scent. the fact is clear, I will never ever get enough of her till the day I die. I feel like putting an armour around her to keep her safe. But the only armour I can 'buy' her is an armour made out of prayers and faith that Allah will keep her safe and keep me constantly vigilant about her safety and well-being. insyaAllah

Sophia withdrawal syndrome, better known as Monday Blues

2011-10-17T13:48:00.006+08:00

Sophia I miss youuu~

<3

don't miss Mummy to much k?

Actually Soph calls me Mama, sometimes Amma now.
Less often is Mummy and Ammy.

not that I prefer her calling me Mummy by much, but it has stuck with me.
I've been referring to myself as Mummy when talking to Sophia since day 1.
So it comes naturally when I talk.

Panggil la Amma pon Mummy tak kisah, Soph :)
As long as you mean me and as long as it doesn't mean something bad :P

Yesterday I was having a shower when you asked Nanny "Mana Mama?"
Nanny said "mandi", so u walked towards the bathroom downstairs where you always have your bath.
but then Nanny said "Mama tak mandi here, Mama mandi kat atas",
Nanny said you appeared to think and then said "nak", then walked towards the steps :)
the feeling of knowing your child was looking for you and wanted your presence...
unsurpassable.

Soph also said "susu t*t*k" when I was nursing her smalam.
then repeated later to Abah's surprise.
when I asked her "nak susu?".
she said "nak... susu t*t*k"

LOL

this is Sophia's creation. spot the escargots. and the top hat. haha. she had been making a fuss everytime she played this game on our iPad and she loves to click on this game a lot!
she gets annoyed coz a lot of the stuff on this Ice Cream Maker game was locked. and those were the ones she insisted on pressing on. So one fine day I said "okayyy jom beli lah senang". i bought it at $3.99. she seems to like making all sorts of desserts. I think this game's worth the RM12 I paid for it just based on how much she enjoys it

Appow

2011-10-16T16:20:00.004+08:00

While feeding Sophia oranges,

Me: O-range. O-range. What is this Sophia?
Sophia: A-pow
Me: O-range
Sophia: A-pow
Me: O-range!
Sophia: A-pow!! *giggles*

that's Sophia's sense of humour for you ;P

- "appow" = apple (same pronunciation as bubbles = "bubbow")
- "dog" = dog (previously she'd say "ff ffuh" = woof woof)
- "bok_s" = box (the 's' sound will arrive later, there's almost a pause in between. lol)
- "sho" = OSO (Special Agent OSO)
- "kite" = kite

she now says "uh uhh" to get you to sneeze "aaah chhoom", if i hadn't seen my mom and Soph in action, my mom sneezing at Soph's request, I wouldn't have known that was what she wanted. coz selama ni dia punya "uh uhh" is when she's insisting on something. hehe

My Happiest Moment

2011-10-14T14:02:00.003+08:00

My happiest moment.. has got to be the moment my beautiful daughter, Sophia Nadine was born into the world :)
Ever since, whenever I am able to see her sweet face, hear her sweet voice, smell her sweet smell and feel her soft touch, would be a happy moment for me. And whenever she's having a happy moment, I'd be equally happy too, if not more :)

If you're my FB friend you'd know how often I paste photos of my kiddo since she was born. or even before she was born. haha
You'd probably have noticed that most of the photos are of the same kind. The photos are usually taken at home, with Soph not doing anything vastly different each time and with her in her usual home clothes more often than not. Another common characteristic of the photos would be Sophia smiling. I think 'Happy Photography' pretty much sums up my photo collection of Sophia :D

She'd sport a gummy smile, a dimply lopsided grin, a hearty laugh or her 'O-face' which she makes whenever she's pleasantly surprised to see something she loves like bubbles, Barney, or a pool of water. As you can see in the photos, Soph loves water and enjoys swimming. I'm always having to coax her out of her bathtub nowadays 8)

Anyway, the point I wanted to make was that people are always exclaiming what a happy baby Soph is. Which is true I believe, she is generally a happy kid, alhamdulillah :)
But it does NOT mean she doesn't have her grumpy days.
Photos of her during those times are practically non-existent not because they don't happen.. but because I would be too busy trying to make her happy instead of remembering to snap a photo. I do intend to capture those moments though, if you're a regular reader of this blog you'd probably know how much I love documenting my baby's progress, moods and quirks and just about anything :D

Just last month, Hubby offered to get me an Android phone for my birthday. I declined because I didn't need one and didn't want one. Instead, I told him,
"Please don't get me anything. Don't surprise me with a present. Especially an Android phone. That's the last thing i need and want at the moment. If you really have to (?? haha), get me a compact camera that takes photos like a DSLR".

He snickered and said, "Oo ok la camtu, tak bagi apa2 la nampaknya. kena tunggu orang invent dulu".

But guess what I've only just found out, Olympus PEN cameras satisfy my 2 broad criteria! the latest from the Olympus PEN series are PEN Lite and PEN Mini. I like PEN Lite for its 3.0-inch flip-out widescreen LCD monitor (perfect for my photo-taking habit of snapping 10 photos of the same object just to get the best angle) and PEN mini for its size and the 4 colours available, love the purple! :D

Speaking of my desire to take photos with DSLR image quality, have you heard of Clickin Moms? Or been to Clickinmoms.com?
If you're like me, a decent-photographer-mom wannabe, you'd love this blog. It gives you all sorts of handy tips on photography, especially when it comes to ~~obsessive~~ passionate moms wanting to freeze and set in stone special moments with their ~~tornadoes~~ angels.
My ambition (apart from my other 350 ambitions to become a seamstress, a rock star and an artist to name a few) is to become a member of CMpro.
Some of you probably qualify already. go check!
At this very moment, I am far from being qualified.
I mean, aperture? Aper tue? haha
I wish to change that but easy does it.
kata free time 1 hour a day, tp to-do list berjela2. yela kan, mana taknya dengan nak menjahit lagi, nak amik gambar lagi and nak plan activities for Soph to enjoy lg :P

This post of mine was about an article from Clickin Moms, which talks about how moms can include themselves in the photos when dads are not around or can't be bothered to take pics of your kids with you ;P
Even my hubby has started using the tips. I guess he wants Sophia to know that he was there while she was growing up too. hehe..
Sophia is growing quite attached to him. Yesterday, when we got home from work, Sophia came running to the door calling "Abaahhh~" and ran straight into his arms. ahhh.. melts my heart <3
Usually, she'd run into my arms, and sometimes call out "Mama!". but after hugging Abah yesterday, she walked away. hahah! sheesh!
I expected to feel hurt coz I always hear moms or dads terasa when their kids seem to prefer the other parent at any one time. but somehow, I was perfectly happy. Coz i know that there's no way Soph doesn't feel as much love for me regardless whether she comes running to me when I get home or not :D

Currently reading

2011-10-13T09:37:00.004+08:00

mood: motivated.
am liking the term 'collective wisdom'.

p/s - i've finally received my book from bookdepository.com :D gotta get ~~get~~ sewing :D

New words!

2011-10-13T07:53:00.006+08:00

- "wait" = wait (complete with hand gesture. same gesture she uses for "stop")
- "jump" = jump
- "show-yee" = slowly (my mom likes to say this whenever Soph drinks water, to remind her to sip slowly to avoid choking)
- "air" = as in air minum
- "yes" = yes

all these I heard her say for the first time last night.
1. gave her a bath and she said "air" ... "air"
2. she was playing with cups and a teapot in the tub, pouring water from the teapot into the cups.
while pouring, she said "show-wee... show-wee", intonation sebijik macam Nanny dia cakap "slowly".
3. Dibbo was playing on the TV, she jumped and said "jump", then went to pull her Abah up and told him to "jump".
4. she made the palm sign and said "wait!" to her Abah, while she ran off to dance to Dibbo. 5 minutes later her Abah said "Sophia... Abah still waiting.." LOL!

she was also so happy last night coz her Nanny bought her a cake, after 2 nights of asking for "keek".
the past 3 nights pantang nampak cake kat youtube or picture books, terus nak berdiri, "keek" followed by "nak", then tarik tgn mak dia.
so yesterday she got to cut a slice of the whole 1/2 kg cake herself.
then poked her finger in the cream. the cream was so nice and fluffy coz the baker used fresh cream. "mmm.. dap!"

she's funny to watch when Special Agent OSO's on.
she'd mimic all OSO's body movements especially during the intro song.
she knows the cue when OSO's going to raise his arms and fly, when OSO's going to high 5 and when OSO's going to talk to his paw pilot, and she'd do all of those actions at the same time as OSO :)

Because you were there too

2011-10-12T14:03:00.002+08:00

This is one writing I KNOW mothers like me will appreciate me sharing here :)
I was lucky to find it.

Here you go:
'Because You Were There Too'

Enjoy making memories last longer!

Things to do:
1. Get a tripod!
2. Make a light reflector

Can you see me in the photo? I was there too! ;P

It was Sophia's first time as a flower girl at 14 months. It was her Mama Honey's wedding :) The photo above was when we paused and stood still for the duration of the 'Selawat'.
She stayed in one place but at one point threw the basket of rose petals she was holding, down onto the carpet. She was holding it so nicely up until that point. hehe
She then wanted to play with the petals that was scattered all over the floor, at which point I carried her for a few seconds before putting her back down to start marching to the stage again.
Thankfully, she was amazing on the red carpet, so much better than I prepared myself for. hehe
Holding my hand, she marched the whole way until I carried her at the steps going up to the stage. Everyone was pleasantly surprised with Sophia's 'performance' and we were all so proud of her that night :)

Funky Brewster

2011-10-12T08:00:00.000+08:00

Hip hope yaww~

I decided to let Soph try on the pink Adidas shoes she got for her 1st birthday, to see if she has sufficiently grown into them.

Glad I did coz if I hadn't done that, she might've missed wearing this pair of shoes altogether. Like the other pair I left in the cupboard and Soph never got to use. Hehe

Heard last night:
- "_top" = stop (she put her right palm out to her Abah and said "_top" coz she wanted him to stand there and watch her quietly)
- "inum"/"ninum" = minum

Diuretics

2011-10-11T10:32:00.007+08:00

I've been taking supplements.
But I've also been drinking coffee regularly.

A good habit and a bad habit picked up around the same time.
I've always liked coffee but I don't drink them often.

I suspect one of the supplements i'm taking for my immune system is a diuretic.
I haven't been drinking water more than usual but I've already been to the loo twice.
And feel like going again now.
Good to cleanse toxins out of your system though right?

(source)

i wanna look at some exercise shoes (those that help tone your butt or thighs or whatever at the same time and are suitable for aerobics as well as other cardio workouts), any suggestions fitness junkies out there? I say 'look at' coz I wanna look first and THEN consider getting. hehehe

_______________________________________________________

Can empathy be taught? How do you teach children of different ages to be empathetic?
(source)

Martha and William Pieper

emotional health and well-being experts

"Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another's place and to take that perspective into account in your relationship with the other person. Empathy is caring about the answer to the question, "How would I feel if I were in her shoes?" Unlike skills that require abstract thought, such as mathematics or reading, empathy is a way of relating to others. It cannot be taught formally, but is learned by imitating those who are important to us.

You need to set the example — be empathetic and caring to your child and others, and she will learn. Because she loves you, believes you are perfect, and wants to be just like you (awww :') ), she will grow up wanting to treat herself and others with the same loving kindness she gets from you. By understanding your child's needs and responding to them in a loving way, you teach her to understand and love herself and to understand and cherish others.

It's also important to account for your child's developmental immaturity. Infants and young children normally base their sense of well-being on their ability to get what they want when they want it. The toddler or preschooler who wants a toy will grab it, whether or not it is attached to another child, and she won't want to share a favorite toy with a friend who asks for it. This is normal behavior for her age, and you do not need to worry that if you don't come down hard on her she will grow up to be selfish and uncaring.

In reality, your child will not be ready to be a sharing, caring friend until after she turns 3. At that point, she will share because (most of the time) her friends will be more important to her than her possessions. So you don't need to try to teach your child about the feelings and rights of others. Just continue to love, care for, and enjoy her. By imitating you, she will learn to treat others with the same consideration."

Soph's latest words:

- "keek" = cake (she loves cake! last night while watching youtube clips, she saw an image of a cake on the computer screen and started saying "keek" then she raised her arms asking me to carry her, pointed to the door and said "nak". o ohh.. pandai mintak cake dah ;P
- "jeyina" = angelina (ballerina)
- "seep" = sleep

Pretty in Pink

2011-10-10T13:52:00.008+08:00

Terasa

2011-10-08T11:44:00.006+08:00

I read a magazine while I was at someone's house the other day.
I was pleased to find
"Untuk menjaga perhubungan/persaudaraan/silatulrahim (basically 'relationship' but i can't remember what word they used), jangan cepat terasa"

Ding Ding Ding

I was pleased coz it's something I believe is true.
Terasa to benda tahape2 tak pasal2 tu cari pasal namanye.
I admit I have done it too.
Tp from experience, kalau terasa and you care about maintaining a relationship with that person, say it out coz u may find urself the guilty party when things are talked through or if u're not gonna, drop it.
Bukan tiap2 kali u tgk org tu u teringat about that particular thing they did and nak ungkit je walaupon dlm hati.

Worse still is when you terasa and then tunggu je org yang 'bersalah' tu mengaku or ckp sorry or reverse whatever it is you terasa about.
1. coz that person has no idea dia buat salah
2. coz that would mean u want to trap that person. whether u intend to or not.
if you wait for that person to say something by a deadline, at which you would go 'ahaa! you didn't tell me!', can you see why I say it's a trap? y don't you just ask if you suspected it? y let your ego cause havoc and make a bad impression of u? is it really worth it?

Guess who...

2011-10-08T00:02:00.001+08:00

was BOLD enough to let someone chop her hair off, all 8 inches of it?!

My womb-mate, who else!
This woman's got guts! :)

Btw, 8 inches is my own estimation.

I think u look great with your new do sis! And i doubt i'm the only one who thinks so.
As gorgeous as ever.

The only sad part is the hair that got chopped off could've been sold or given to those wigmakers so a hairless person could wear real human hair that was not chopped off from a cadaver.
But it's not like we know anyone who donate, sell or buy human hair. We wouldn't know who to give it too.

I had a haircut too, but just my normal trim, layered with trimmed fringe.
Nothing new but am happy with the result :) perhaps more obvious layers this time.

Metabolismic

2011-10-06T09:38:00.006+08:00

Have you guys watched paranormal activity 2?
Gosshh so scaryyy
it involves a baby too, which made my heart beat soo fast everytime the baby was onscreen.
geezz
I haven't watched till the end. am watching it bit by bit whenever i have time

i haven't watched the 1st one. is it good?
am planning to watch it as well as the 3rd one coming to cinemas soon.

anyway, i think someone lied to me 2 days ago..
my cousin's weighing scale to be exact.
It calculates metabolic age, among others.

If you've been reading my blog you'd know I just turned 28 last month.
I was expecting to read a 52 (metabolic age) on the scale so was wincing the whole 30 seconds i was on it. oklah i'm exaggerating, i don't actually think i'm THAT unfit. but i did suspect my metabolic age would be at least 30.
you can imagine how ecstatic i was to read 28, not a year beyond my actual age :D

However that excitement died down soon after.
at our first official Zumba class yesterday, I was made to realize that either the scale was lying, or at least faulty, or.. 28-year-olds are generally unfit!
HAHA

i was the most out-of-breath person in the class!
there were others above 40 years of age whose hearts were seemingly pumping at a more stable rate than mine was!

i was not surprised though.
how can i expect it to be otherwise when i'm perfectly aware how low my stamina currently is.
Hoping this weekly Zumba class will take care of that soon.
In between classes, i've still got to do some form of exercise of higher impact than chasing after Soph, if i want to start being fit that is.

i was happy to wake up this morning feeling slightly more toned. hehe
was pleasantly surprised when i saw my tummy in the mirror.
the bulge is still there, no magic.. but the sides of my abs are a bit more defined than usual,
you know the 2 'lines' on each side of your lower abs.

to find out more about metabolic age, read this

to calculate your own metabolic age, go here
using this calculator, my metabolic age is 30, 2 years older than the 28 the weighing scale calculated. not sure what information the scale uses to calculate this. perhaps with more details than weight, height and age coz it also gives other measurements like BMI, fat %, visceral fat content and i can't recall what else.
I feel like getting a similar scale ;D

p/s-check this out!
seems like a fun gift to give huh? cute

18 months old!

2011-10-05T08:16:00.004+08:00

Alhamdulillah Sophia turned 18 months yesterday :)
you're halfway to becoming 2 baby girl!
i can start planning your 2nd birthday party now ;P

this morning you wanted to be held, like you didn't want me to go anywhere other than where you are.
you cried and wailed when you couldn't find me.
I was in Nanny's room, using her bathroom.
I had to hold you and rock you for a while.
even when I put you down on Nanny's bed after you've calmed down (you didn't even want Nanny when she offered to take you :-0), you didn't fuss but u made sure i was next to you by resting your hand on my chest or letting my hands rest on your arms.
You snuggled up real close, breathing into my skin, and me breathing into your hair.
I wished we could sleep like that till it was time to wake up.
But it WAS already time for ME to wake up 10 minutes prior.
I felt sad to have to leave you when you seemed vulnerable and wanting my affection.

As soon as I thought you were asleep, I attempted to rise from Nanny's bed to rush to get ready for work.
I assumed you were asleep since your eyes were closed and you were calmly lying there without moving for more than a few minutes.
The second I started to turn my body away from you, your eyes flicked open like a switch.
You weren't sleeping! you'd tricked me! ;)

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't wait for you to fall asleep before getting ready if I didn't want to be late for work :(
I'd already been late enough times this year. Your Abah too, he's a*al about being tardy, to work especially. But I don't blame him for being like that although I do whine about him being so.

So at Nanny's signal, I kissed your head and slowly stood, while Nanny hugged and patted your bum,
my heart breaking as I notice your eyes watching me as I walked out, not leaving me even for a second. I was also holding my breath, bracing for your "waaaaa" or "uh uhh".
Fortunately, you didn't cry.
At least, I didn't hear you making any sound up until you were out of earshot.
That's the beauty of leaving you in the care of someone who loves you very much and someone you love very much too.
I don't feel as guilty as I think I would leaving you with anyone else.
Because of that too, I'm confident you don't think I'm abandoning you.
At least not yet.

I'd read about the best way to avoid separation anxiety from your child, which is to make it as drama-less as possible.
by distracting you and not doing the "byeee, *kiss* byeee *hug* byeee *kiss* sorryy but mummy has to go to work hunn".
how many of us mothers have the urge to do this regardless whether or not we actually do it?
I know I do.

the best way, so they say, is to kiss the baby and walk out calmly, without turning back and definitely without apologising. some tell you to say a simple "mummy's going to work now, i'll see you later" too.
and that is what i've been doing.
sometimes, i don't even kiss her a last time before i leave when i see her calm and happy with Nanny playing with her toys.
her being calm and happy with or without me trumps my need to kiss her.
it also saves my mom from having to calm her down should she kick up a fuss.
if you don't see the benefit of that already, a happy caregiver -> a happy baby.

I do feel guilty walking out like that sometimes though.
a person observing how i leave may understandably judge me as being an emotionally unattached mother. or simply that i don't care, just based on that single observation.
but only I know (apart from Allah obviously) how true or untrue that is.

when that happens, I'd just close my eyes, recall her smell and say a silent thank you to God for blessing me with rezeki of a contented, healthy baby girl and a loving, selfless mother who loves her grandchildren more than her own children (fyi I see that as a good thing).
as my mother says "your grandchildren are twice your children" <3

Alhamdulillah so far i haven't had to face leaving you while you bawl your eyes out because you won't see me leaving. you've only watched me as i left in the car once or twice and you were younger so you didn't cry, though you weren't exactly smiling either :)

However, I have a feeling this won't continue for long because as you grow up, you'd realize that i'm going to be 'missing' during the day for several hours, at the same time everyday and you may not be entirely too happy about that fact.
Then you'll start being vocal about wanting me to be around.
And around the time I leave for work, you'll start checking if i've left yet, all nervous and panicky and highly likely.. tearfully.
And that's okay and normal. expected even..
It just means we'd have to start facing it :P

May Allah bless our family with rezeki of me being able to work from home at least by the time you need to go to school. Amin.

Stay safe Sophia Nadine~
Mummy loves you very much!

Top of the morning to you

2011-10-04T08:50:00.002+08:00

And the rest of the day to myself, thank you! ;)

4 more days until I can bug bookdepository again about not getting my book yet!
I could've made like 6 tops for Soph by now.
yeahh rightt..
hehehe

can't wait to Zumba tomorrow!
just noticed how bad my double chin is.
yikes!!
i 'discovered' it when i accidentally tapped the 'camera' function on my ipad2 and the camera pointed straight at my chinny chin chin.
that's the best time to look at yourself and check how you actually look like,
when you're unprepared and at ease
then, you'll be all conscious about your chin like I am now
eepp!

Public Display of Affliction

2011-10-04T00:20:00.001+08:00

I didn't realise i've blogged so much over the years.
Took a long while to go through my entries and filter them one by one.
Finally, i'm done and have made it public again.

The title signifies something i don't want this blog to be again.
I've deleted those rants i typed out without any lesson to impart.
Those that regurgitate feelings of hate out of my system.

I only left rants with insights on how one would feel in certain situations or circumstances.
I don't want to find myself on the giving end of something i've always been on the receiving end of.
Giving makes me feel good but i try my best not to give others shitake.

It felt good to make desserts again.
Haven't done much in the kitchen since late pregnancy.
I made some coconut candy before Ramadhan, and tonight i made trifle.
Which was requested by my sister.
I didn't mind coz it gave me an excuse to make something again.
Soph was also very calm n happy, didn't fight with Abah until i was done.
Later on br gaduh dgn Abah pasal magic colours. Haha

I have to plan for our Singapore trip. Main purpose is to bring Soph to the zoo.
Any suggestions on what we shouldn't miss?
I asked Soph "nak pegi zoo?"
"nak!" she answered.
I wonder if she understands.
She's gonna love the zoo though.
I just know it!

My birthday wishlist - post birthday

2011-09-28T14:06:00.003+08:00

I STILL want the toy kitchen set for Soph. yekee for Soph ni :P
but not getting it yet since she has one plastic one my mom bought for her and since she throws everything around. she has even toppled the plastic kitchen set numerous times. not exactly safe with a wooden set huh?

as for the sewing books.. i wanted to order 2 from bookdepository but decided to buy 1 by 1 to see if 1 was enough since the shipping is free. lol
bought that in the first week of September, my birthday has come and gone, and still no book! :(
and looks like i won't get it possibly?
coz they keep saying it was dispatched on the 8th.
but i don't care when it left them, i just want to know where it is and when it'll arrive at my doorstep!
it's crazy to expect they sent it via registered post la kan since the shipping was free!

haih
the prob is i don't know if it's gonna arrive or not.
if i know for sure that it's not and there's nothing i can do, at least i can order a new one. though i'd hate that. hahaha

i guess you could say my bday present this year is the skincare i bought for myself, it costed me quite a huge bit but am hoping the result will be worth it.
seems to be worth it so far.
and also the health supplements i got for my immune system, bones and brain.
both presents to myself are quite fitting to celebrate a new year of getting older right?
heheh

things i love about my 28th birthday:
1. relaxed
2. no expectation on wishes or presents. i guess you could say i'm pretty contented huh ;)
3. and wasn't disappointed coz wasn't secretly hoping hubby would get me sthing special. in fact was secretly hoping he didn't get me anything coz i already spent a lot on myself (re: the skincare products and supplements). his money is my money too, and Soph's especially
4. had a fun photoshoot with my twin, possibly the first of many to mark our ~~age~~ birthday
5. had a good time at Kids E World with Soph. love that place coz Soph loves it! again, yekeee sbb Soph suka. haha.. am gonna go again soon
6. watched my first movie at the cinema since more than 18 months ago. we watched 'Contagion', it was like meant for me. though i'm not recommending u watch it. takde climax
7. had my wasabi-fix at sushi king. though the next day i got diarrhaea, hmmm
8. our red-velvet cake from just heavenly which is to die for
9. my birthday card from hubby. the words on the card he picked out is just perfect <3
10. Sophia's birthday card for Mummy <3

My baby, my laughing pill

2011-09-22T12:07:00.002+08:00

1. In the car, with cousins, on the way home from Subang Parade, level of excitement was pretty high to say the least.
Soph chanted what sounded like
"Cheese-And-Tetek! Cheese-And-Tetek!"
She loves cheese and needless to say, my T****!

2. Soph has a cleaning cart. A set of toy mop, broom, pail and floor brush. The sticks for the mop n broom were missing fr the box fr the time we got it though. Anyway,
Soph took the floor brush and proceeded to bring it to her mouth to brush her teeth!
Abah: Sophia! No! That's not a toothbrush!!
It's a HAIRbrush!
I almost literally rolled on the floor laughing!!
So cute my hubby nii!

Talking, recognizing drawings, singing

2011-09-20T09:26:00.004+08:00

"Observing a child as she learns to talk is one of the most fascinating experiences of parenthood. Some children babble with an occasional recognizable word mixed in. Others learn to say one word clearly and then add another, slowly building up a vocabulary. Others may use one word for days or weeks and then suddenly drop it. Which is normal? Actually, each is."

(source)

Soph is doing all of the above including saying a word for weeks and then all of a sudden you can't seem to squeeze it out of her pouty lips.
she babbles so much and you could pick up recognizable words in between.
usually an "Abah" or "Mama" or "Nanny" thrown into her "skoleh skoleh", "schleh", and other short, complex 'terms'.
but the other words (not personal pronouns) she knows, she would more often use to label the appropriate things or on its own, instead of in a 'sentence'.

latest words:

-"amuk"=nyamuk
-"'hat"=hat (she pronounces the T perfectly!)

and we're loving drawing her simple things, coz she can recognize them and would say them out.
amazing coz our drawing skills are embarassing yet she can tell what they are.
proof of how complex the human mind works.
kuasa Allah!

she has recognised all these words below, most of them on her own without without anyone having to tell her what it is the first time:

1. eye
2. book
3. 'siusiu'=susu
4. dtar=star
5. spider (!)
6. shoes
7. fish

will put up a photo of the drawings to show exactly how wonderful it is that she can tell what they are.

my baby can sing too :)

everytime we get into the car she'd say "uhh uhh", pointing to the radio, signalling she wants us to switch on the lullaby CD (a gift from Tok Wan) we've been playing in the car since she was very young. we do this coz it calms her down in the car. coz she follows the music. if the music's upbeat, she'd do her 'quick hands' routine, if the music's slow, she'd sway.
so i guess it's tougher for her to dance furiously to a slow music. haha

about the "uhh uhh" part,
she says this a lot to tell us what she wants. the difference is in her gestures and what she points at. otherwise we wouldn't know what she's telling us.
we do tell her to say "bukak" or "lullaby" when she does that, and she does say "bukak" now when she wants something to be opened and is a bit patient. if she's excited and/or irritable she'll still say "uhh uhh".

anyway, 'diddle diddle dumpling' was on when we were in the car one day.

'Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John,
Went to bed with his trousers on,
one shoe off, and one shoe on...'

Soph continued
'te te te te tee, te-te-tee'
IN TUNE!
i was gobsmacked!
Hubby clearly was too, i could see his surprised face through the review mirror as he laughed in amazement.

prior to this, I already believe (or would like to believe if you please) she's musically inclined, this girl.
this made me more convinced though.
we'll see if you take up after your father's better vocal skills or your mother's err.. voice box, Soph :)

Got milk?

2011-09-19T16:46:00.005+08:00

GOT. but not much
haha

i actually wanted to edit my blog and only leave entries which i wouldn't mind the public reading and photos which i wouldn't mind much if any tom dick and harry were to come across it.
so i made the blog private, only accessible to the author, me.
i was afraid by editing and republishing old posts, my readers will be bothered with lots of email notifications.

Then my hubby confirmed that he wasn't getting any email notifications, so I switched it back to private for my readers since it seems like it'll take ~~much~~ longer than expected for me to be done with the housekeeping.

milk supply is going off too fast.
faster than i'm ready to face.
so am gonna make extra effort to build supply back up again.
i already miss Soph giggling and smiling soo unbelievably happily just before i nurse her,
i intended to take a video of that. goshh i feel a bit like a hoarder,
unable to let go of attachments to what could and could've been memories locked in videos and photos in my case, as opposed to worthless material posessions hoarders are known to have an (almost) desperate need to keep/not throw out.

1 year 5 months

2011-09-05T22:44:00.004+08:00

- "Bubbew" = bubbles

- ”i know"
- "eye"
- "cow"
- "moo"
- "baw" = ball
- "whatt" = what
- "papak" = pap pap or cebok
- "siusiu" = susu
- "pear"
- "otato" = potato
- "pooh"
- "car"
- "pad" - ipad
- "butt" - no idea what this means
- "a bat" = kelawar
- "chair"

Sophia continues to love greens and other veggies like tomatoes, onions and capsicum.
Can tolerate spicy food.
Seems to enjoy them in fact.

And loves to run to me for a hug.
I love it too :)

She was grumpy today according to my mom.
She hasn't been grumpy the past 9 days I've been with her.
I suspect she was missing me but didn't know it.
My mother said she started to fuss during the day when she saw a photo of me, her Abah and herself.
We believe she was looking for me :(
Kesian. Must be confused.
Skejap with her practically every minute of every day and night, kejap hilang for hours on end fr the time she wakes up till late evening.

What to do sayang.. Redha je la.
Some choices u make in life sweetheart, robs u of other choices u could otherwise have made further into the future.
Remember that.
Just be careul when making choices, doa it's for the best and tawakkal.
If it still turns out to be a less than perfect choice, know that it's for the best, u just can't see it yet.

U've started playing with dolls, hugging them, feeding them and patting them to sleep.

I have lots of projects lined up, most of them for you,

However, u go to sleep so late that i hardly have time to work on them.
Hopefully the timing will work out soon enough. I'm so excited to start working on them :)

2nd birthday wishlist

2011-09-03T16:10:00.001+08:00

Nope, not a wishlist for Sophia's 2nd birthday, but a 2nd wishlist for my 28th birthday! Hehe

I want:

1. To miraculously be able to sew beautifully. Hahah. No practice hours needed.

2. To go for a facial,

3. a decent haircut,

4. a badly needed hair treatment.

5. To get foot treatment.

6. To go eat Sushi while someone i can trust babysits Sophia, so I won't choke on my california roll, or won't have 2 shove wasabi down my throat and stop breathing for 5 seconds.

7. I still want the toy kitchen for Soph. that looks to be the most likely gift for my bday, simply coz i'm more intent on making this item on the wishlist a reality than the rest of the nonsense i put up here. Am just thinking of the best and economical way of shipping it here fr the States or the UK.

8. Slimmer thighs.

I don't think there'll be a 3rd list.

Medicine magic

2011-08-23T14:53:00.006+08:00

She's teething now, her first (primary) molar.
I noticed about a week or 2 weeks back that she had something white at the location of her left first molar.
I checked to see if it was food, coz she was eating when i noticed, or if it was a tooth.
Whaddya know, it was a tooth. not just at the cutting stage.
It has fully emerged although still short
her right one on the other hand was just beginning to cut

(source)

Eruption Pattern of Primary Teeth
Upper Teeth	Eruption Time	Age of Loss of Tooth
Central Incisor	8 to 12 months	6 to 7 years old
Lateral Incisor	9 to 13 months	7 to 8 years old
Cuspid	16 to 22 months	10 to 12 years old
First Molar	13 to 19 months	9 to 11 years old
Second Molar	25 to 33 months	10 to 12 years old

Lower Teeth	Eruption Time	Age of Loss of Tooth
Central Incisor	6 to 10 months	6 to 7 years old
Lateral Incisor	10 to 16 months	7 to 8 years old
Cuspid	17 to 23 months	9 to 12 years old
First Molar	14 to 18 months	9 to 11 years old
Second Molar	23 to 31 months	10 to 12 years old

Looking at the eruption pattern of primary teeth from the table above makes me wonder if she also has her top/maxillary first molars too.
I haven't checked.
Hope i remember to check tonight.

(source)

for your info and mine, i also pasted this diagram for permanent teeth.
I still dont have my left mandibular third molar.

"The third molars, or wisdom teeth, complete their development at approximately 18 years, but they might never come out and stay impacted."

Looks like it'll stay that way. which i like. coz the 3 third molars i already have are making my teeth more misaligned than ever. coz there isn't enough space for them.
I got them after I was 18 though. 20+ years old

So she's been fussy and was inconsolable on Friday evening I believe cause of the pain the right first molar is causing her. She keeps biting everything and scratching that part of her gums with her finger.
Kesian..

but at 16 months, alhamdulillah it's so easy for Soph to take her meds.
I've only had to pour parmol (for the teething pain) and polaramine (she also has a runny nose at the mo) in measuring cups and hand them to her 1 by 1.
She would down them willingly and quickly too. no fuss.
my mom keeps marvelling about how easy it is too.
She'd even tip the cup and her chin up to finish each last drop, short of licking the insides of the cup.
Which is much more than I can say about her mother. hehe

I remember how hard it was for my mom to give me the pink liquid paracetamol, i was about 5 yrs old, or younger, but definitely older than Soph is now, which is why i'm able to recall.
I used to throw up every time after taking the paracetamol, almost like i was allergic to it.
But of course i wasn't, i just couldn't stomach it cause of the after taste i think.
That's why I started taking meds in pill forms relatively early, coz i couldn't swallow liquid meds.

And that's why i'm so proud at how easy it is to give Soph her meds now.
Of course she's been through the phase where she'd spit out the meds or purse her lips so tight you wouldn't be able to squeeze a hairpin through them.
Still, I hope feeding her meds will remain as easy as it is now
wouldn't want to speak too soon though coz i realise it is highly likely since kids/toddlers have so many phases and change preferences so quickly

and Soph, you're loving dates so much. pantang tengok mesti nak
not just since Ramadhan
Grandpa has been eating dates with his quaker oat every morning since forever
so each time u see the tupperware of dates u're sure to want one
but now we don't have to peel the skin from the dates anymore
coz the skin of the american dates are not too hard
but we do still have to pit the dates

I haven't been updating your words. coz they come (and sometimes go) so quickly
Abah took a video of you reading flash cards with me
you know so many words already alhamdulillah
you call a cow 'moe' though, as in moo
heheh
but i was in the vid and i wasn't appropriately dressed for the vid to be publicly displayed
so I won't upload it here and i won't promise to take another one and put it here coz i've broken so many of those promises already. heheh
nanti Sophia besar Sophia tgk sendiri k?
hopefully ada lg la the vid by then :)
I'll try to keep all your photos and videos safely
that's partly why I upload so many of your photos on fb
as backup
coz i hardly print your photos
am planning to but haven't got round to doing it
i've only asked Abah to make a backup of the photos in our laptop
just in case

am going home now. see you soon :)

My Birthday's next month

2011-08-17T08:24:00.010+08:00

Let's see what's in my wishlist ;)

1. A play kitchen for Soph

$209.60 (excluding shipping rate)

or
$147.54 (excluding shipping rate)

2. A book for me

$21.72

or

$18.95

I have no idea why I have a persistent urge to make my own clothes.
mid-life crisis a tad too soon??
or post quarter-life crisis @ mid mid-life crisis.

Mom @ Work

2011-08-12T22:25:00.003+08:00

16 months

2011-08-12T11:13:00.005+08:00

Soph climbed on top of me and slept on me in the middle of the night last night.
The feeling is undescribable. I loved it!
Mona gets it almost every night thoughh ;P
hehe
Sophia would probably only climb on me when she can't locate her pacifier
or can't locate my n*pples
(which is rare btw, i'd usually give her as soon as i notice she's searching)
they're her main source of comfort right now
at night at least
last night i did notice she was pulling at me and my top, but for once i decided to test if she would cry if i pretended i was asleep or sthing. to see if i can make her outgrow this habit now
she didn't cry but climbed on top of me instead.
like 'fine! if you/your boobs won't come to me, i will come to you/them!'
hahahah
whatever it is, i'll savour this moment :)
i don't need her to outgrow anything so soon. heheh

New this month: The toddler connection (source)

Even at this young age, your toddler is learning that he is rewarded with positive attention — hugs, laughter, praise — when he behaves in ways that people around him think are "right," and that he is punished or ignored when his behavior is "wrong." (What may really amaze you is how quickly your intuitive toddler learns that to different people right and wrong mean different things. A behavior that might elicit a frown from you, i.e., pounding a toy on the coffee table or pulling the dog's tail, brings peals of laughter from an older sibling.)

The social interactions you're most likely to witness now are basic — waving, smiling, playing peekaboo, and following simple instructions — but these are all first steps in establishing his personal social style that are learned through imitation. A 16-month-old is also able to initiate displays of affection and he'll give back what he receives. If you show affection with hugs and kisses, he will likely, too. :D

Other developments: Developing self-awareness

A newborn isn't able to differentiate between himself and his mother or between himself and any object he sees. Tasting, touching, smelling, and hearing what's in the world around him are ultimately what help him understand that he is a separate being. At about 16 months, your toddler understands that he is his own person, but that he can use you as an extension of himself. For instance, if he sees a toy that he wants but can't reach, he'll push you toward it and gesture until you know he wants you to hand it to him. Or, he may not feel comfortable walking up a flight of stairs, but since he's determined to do it anyway, he'll grasp your hand so you can help him. (I love it when soph reaches out for a hand when he wants to climb the stairs, climb onto/down of something, or go somewhere he feels uncomfortable/afraid to go alone)

At this stage, your toddler knows he is powerful and he is the center of his world. He uses your attention and amazement and appreciation of his accomplishments to attempt even more. He wants to succeed at everything he tries, though he often won't. You'll catch him attempting to carry objects that are far too heavy or unwieldy for him to handle, but he'll be adamant about trying. Rather than help him, admire his chutzpah and let him cry out his frustrations when he can't do something; he'll keep trying and soon succeed. Yesterday Soph was struggling to take off her shoes, she was putting on and taking them off so many times last night. so i let her struggle. so she could learn. besides i think she's skilled enough to manage on her own already anyway. she only needs to do it a couple of times then the next couple of times will be easy peasy. but my mom gave me a look like i was cruel to not want to help her and that i decided to just watch her instead. lol! she told my bro to help. I did feel guilty at first, but on second thoughts, it's not like i was gonna risk letting her fall or something, she was sitting down nicely taking her shoes off, i would've helped if she was standing and wobbling on one foot.
hahaha sighh should show my mom this article ;)

Giving him opportunities to imitate you at work, such as "cooking" in a play kitchen since he can't really make you dinner, will help cut down on the frustration he feels about being too little to do some of the things he wants to do and will also build his self-esteem. Toddler-sized tool sets, little play kitchens, or grocery carts are great fun for 16-month-olds.

4 years and counting

2011-08-10T12:03:00.003+08:00

Alhamdulillah it's my 4th wedding anniversary. I dont ask for material things, i only wish for a good life and a good marriage till the end of time. May we be the best parents we can be to Sophia and her future siblings, insyaAllah.

looks like i've got lots to do

2011-08-09T16:15:00.007+08:00

i'm not exactly proud of my angry outbursts on this blog..
so i prefer doing it rather than physically bursting out AT the person,
but blogging about it still makes me feel.. well.. bad.
yes it relieves my anger almost immediately, coughing all that pent-up steam out in one bullet
but it leaves me feeling. just. bad. in the long-run

with my lifelong goal of becoming the best person I can be, I am going to choose 1 specific thing to work on right away.

which is to not blog about or publicly display my feelings on fb, if the feeling is serious anger.
I shall continue blogging about my love for my daughter and my love for anything else, but not my hate for certain things/actions.

I don't promise to not rant about silly things like not getting receipts from cab drivers ;P but I will try (much) harder to refrain from the serious stuff in life that gets to me.
the more something screws with my head and heart, the more reason I have to NOT state it publicly. here and on fb.

I hope this will help me do just that:

but in this case, THINK before I 'type' instead of 'speak'.
because for all my angry rants, I can only answer a definite 'yes' to the first question.
Typing them out are helpful sometimes, coz it helps me clear my head and pinpoint exactly what it is about an issue that bothers me the most. coz i ask myself 'why am i so angry about this' several times per angry outburst. hahaha
but only sometimes, not all the time.
and clearly the NOs outnumber and outperform the YESs.

insyaAllah i can do this.
I cannot try, I just have to do it

So many of my smiles..

2011-08-08T01:16:00.007+08:00

begin with you Sophia Nadine.

I love it when

- you come running to me, grinning from ear to ear, eyes twinkling, and u let the weight of ur body drop into my arms, trusting i would catch u in time. While my heart skips a few beats in anticipation of successfully catching u just in time. Once u're in my arms, my heart would resume beating with relief that u didn't fall and with so much joy that u are where it's safest, even if it's only for a few seconds until u start running again
- i get the chance to watch and observe u playing on ur own from a distance. How u'd talk to urself, and ur toys, pretending to feed barney/simba and act out scenes from angelina ballerina seconds before angelina does it herself. I was in awe the first time i noticed u impersonating the characters on the show. How angelina and friends picked ballots fr the hat, how alice pointed to angelina and how all of them raised their hands and shouted 'yeayy'. The best part is how u memorise the storyline and act the scenes out right before they actually happen.
How u'd laugh at the seal's antics in pingu is also a favourite of mine. U laugh like u get the jokes. How is that even possible for a 1 year old? Subhanallah
- u joke around. It's a trait of the Nawawi family to like to make jokes with each other. Like when u made fun of Abah chomping his food with his mouth open at dinner this evening. I was amazed u already know how to be mischievious like that. The cheeky grin on ur face said u understood what it means to impersonate people
- u'd give me a kiss when i ask for one before i give you what u wanted
- u eat contentedly, quietly and happily in ur highchair, nvm that u have one knee raised in your chair
- u break into a dance at any time and at any place whenever u hear music, regardless how faint it is and what genre. U're at the age where u're still uninhibited, so ur whole personality shines through. I'd be sad the day u start having inhibitions. It needs to happen, it's human nature and to a certain extent u should be conscious about certain things when u're older but i'd miss this stage all the same :)
- u reverse park ur tush onto someone's lap, especially mine
- u enjoy ur shower and trust that i won't let water get into ur eyes when i tilt ur head back to wash the shampoo out. This has to happen everyday since we shampoo u everyday but u not fighting over this part of ur shower is very rare lately
- u look for a surface to smack ur palm on when i scold u. Then u'd look at the other palm and rub it
Grandpa would say 'e ehh, tgn lain yg pukul meja, tgn lain yg sakit eh?'
- when u look for my breasts in the middle of the night to bury ur face/nose in
- u spot ur swimsuit even though it's at the bottom of the pile of clothes i was holding, run to grab ur shoes, then run to the front door, assuming we're going swimming
- u'd run to the door when u see someone all dressed up or to the stairs when aunty lynn says goodnite. U always want to beat us to it
- when mama honey drops by and for a few moments it'd seem like u're so very excited to see her and that u miss her, until u give uncle riz a sideways bashful glance and go running to him. Sometimes u'd run into mama honey's arms first, then glance at uncle riz, willing him to pick u up. Lol
- u manja with abang alif and trust that he's capable of protecting u. Even i think he does a great job taking care of u within his physical strength. I'd know and he'd know when u'd overpower him so he won't take u when u're having one of ur tantrums
- u bodek nanny and grandpa, knowing u'd get away with almost anything and everything
- ur face lights up into ur 'o' face whenever ur eyes land on things tbat fascinate u. Usually animals or a pool of water. Or food or toy shops. Or.. Your favourite people. Sometimes you prefer nanny and grandpa over me. And i'm ok with that :)
- u repeat after us with the same intonation
- ever u're with me

I made a wish and u came true ~

10 nutrients every child needs - babycenter.com (super long post)

2011-08-05T15:59:00.004+08:00

(SOURCE)

1. Good sources of essential fatty acids

Kids may eat more or less than the amounts of food shown, given their age and appetite. You can estimate the nutrient content accordingly.

Good sources of omega-3s include:

1 teaspoon flaxseed oil: 5,700 mg (not recommended for cooking but good for dressings)
1 tablespoon flax seeds, ground: 15,900 mg
1/4 cup English walnuts: 9,100 mg
1 tablespoon peanut butter, fortified with omega-3: 4,950 mg
1 teaspoon walnut oil: 2,380 mg
1 teaspoon wheat germ oil: 3,110 mg
1 teaspoon soybean oil: 2,270 mg
1 teaspoon canola oil: 870 mg
1 tablespoon wheat germ: 500 mg
1 omega-3 fortified egg: 100 mg

One of the long-chain fatty acids that the body can make from alpha-linolenic acid is DHA (docosahexaenoic acid), which is critical to brain and eye development. This is why infant formula is fortified with DHA and why pregnant and breastfeeding women are encouraged to have DHA in their diet, either from a food source or a supplement.

Encourage your child to eat DHA-rich foods at least once a week. Some good sources of DHA to try:

1 ounce cooked herring: kippered, 334 mg; pickled, 155 mg
1 ounces cooked salmon: 186 to 413 mg, depending on type
1 ounce sardines: Atlantic, canned in oil, drained: 144 mg; Pacific, canned in tomato sauce, drained: 282 mg
1 ounce rainbow trout: wild, 147 mg; farmed, 232 mg; mixed species, 192 mg
1 ounce mackerel, canned: Atlantic, 198 mg; Jack, 226 mg
1 ounce barramundi: 174 mg
1 ounce pollock: Atlantic, 128 mg; walleye, 80 mg
1 DHA-fortified egg: about 100 to 150 mg (depending on the brand)

Can your child get too much essential fatty acids?

Yes, your child can get too much of either of the essential fatty acids, which can then cause an imbalance. It's best to get the right balance of fats by choosing mostly fats rich in omega-3 and by avoiding trans fats and saturated fats.

Trans fats – often called "partially hydrogenated oils" on the label – are found in many fried foods (like French fries), baked goods (like cookies, pastries, pizza dough), and stick margarines and shortenings. Trans fats raise LDL ("bad") cholesterol and lower HDL ("good") cholesterol and increase the risk of developing heart disease, stroke, and type 2 diabetes.

Saturated fats come mostly from animal sources like meat and dairy – fatty meats and lard, and cream, butter, and cheese. They're also found in baked and fried foods and some plant foods, like palm oil, palm kernel oil, and coconut oil.

2. Why iron is important

Iron is important for making hemoglobin, the oxygen-carrying red pigment in blood, and myoglobin, a pigment that stores oxygen in muscles. Lack of iron can cause anemia, which can result in fatigue, weakness, and irritability.

Because iron also affects brain development, anemia can cause long-lasting problems with cognitive development. Iron deficiency is the most common nutritional deficiency in the United States.

How much iron does your child need?

Ages 1 to 3 years: 7 milligrams (mg) per day

Ages 4 to 8 years: 10 mg per day

Your child doesn't have to get the recommended daily amount of iron every day. Instead, aim for that amount as an average over the course of a few days or a week.

Animal sources and plant sources of iron: What's the difference?

Heme iron – the kind you get from animal sources such as meat, seafood, and poultry – is easily absorbed by the body. The body needs help to absorb non-heme iron, which is the kind found in non-animal sources like dark green leafy vegetables, legumes, fortified bread and grains, and dried fruit. (Egg yolks contain mostly non-heme iron.)

You can increase the amount of non-heme iron the body absorbs by serving it with foods that contain heme iron or with foods rich in vitamin C, such as orange juice, oranges, strawberries, red peppers, papaya, broccoli, grapefruit, cantaloupe, tomatoes, mangoes, and potatoes.

Good sources of iron

Iron can be found in a variety of foods. Here are some of the best sources:

1/2 cup fortified, ready-to-eat cereal: 12 mg
1/2 cup fortified oatmeal, prepared with water: 5 mg
1/4 cup raw tofu: 2.22 mg
(The iron content of tofu varies by type; check the label.)
1/4 cup soybeans: 2 mg
1/4 cup boiled lentils: 2 mg
1/4 cup baked beans with pork and tomato sauce: 2 mg
1/4 cup navy beans: 1 mg
1/4 cup kidney beans: 1 mg
1 ounce braised lean beef, chuck: 1 mg
1 teaspoon blackstrap molasses: 1 mg
1/2 medium broiled hamburger (1.5 oz.), 95% lean: 1 mg
1/4 cup garbanzo beans: 1 mg
1/4 cup cooked frozen spinach: 0.9 mg
1/4 cup black beans: 0.9 mg
1/4 cup pinto beans: 0.9 mg
1 slice whole wheat bread: 0.9 mg
1/4 cup raisins: 0.7 mg

Can your child get too much iron?

Yes, and excessive amounts of iron can be toxic. Unless your child eats several servings of fortified foods, though, it's virtually impossible to get too much iron from food.

Iron supplements are another matter. The maximum amount considered safe for a child by the Food and Nutrition Board of the Institute of Medicine is 40 mg per day. (This is called the tolerable upper intake level or UL.) Keep iron supplements where children can't get them, and don't encourage kids to take any chewable vitamins as a "treat," or they may take them when you're not looking.

3. How much calcium does your child need?

Ages 1 to 3 years: 500 milligrams (mg) per day

Ages 4 to 8 years: 800 mg per day

Your child doesn't have to get the recommended daily amount of calcium every day. Instead, aim for that amount as an average over the course of a few days or a week.

The best sources of calcium

Dairy products such as milk, yogurt, and cheese are some of the best sources of calcium, but you'll also find it in less expected places. Some calcium-rich foods to try:

1/4 cup raw tofu, prepared with calcium sulfate: 217 mg
(The calcium content of tofu varies, depending on how it's processed. Check the label.)
1/2 cup low-fat plain yogurt: 207 mg
1 tablespoon blackstrap molasses: 200 mg
1/2 cup low-fat fruit yogurt: 122 to 192 mg
1/2 cup calcium-fortified orange juice: 133 to 250 mg
1/4 cup part-skim ricotta cheese: 167 mg
1/2 cup milk: 150 mg
1/2 cup chocolate milk: 144 mg
1/2 ounce Swiss cheese: 112 mg
1/2 cup vanilla frozen yogurt, soft serve: 102 mg
1/2 ounce cheddar cheese: 102 mg
1 slice calcium-fortified bread: 100 mg
1/2 ounce mozzarella: 91 mg
1/2 slice cheese pizza (fast food chain): 91 mg
1/4 cup collard greens: 89 mg
1/4 cup homemade pudding (from mix or scratch): 76 mg
1 tablespoon tahini (sesame seed butter): 64 mg
1/4 cup turnip greens: 62 mg
1 ounce canned pink salmon, solids with bone: 61 mg
1/4 cup cooked spinach: 60 mg
1/2 cup ready-to-eat cereal, calcium fortified: 51 mg
1/2 cup soy beverage, calcium fortified: 40 to 250 mg

Tips for maximizing your child's calcium intake

Some experts believe that many children are falling short of their calcium requirement, in part because juice and other nondairy drinks are so popular that kids are drinking less milk. Here are some simple steps you can take to make sure your child gets enough calcium:

Use milk instead of water when making cereals, hot cocoa, and soups.
Use evaporated milk in place of regular milk in recipes – it has twice the calcium of regular milk.
Add yogurt to fruit salads; nonfat milk powder to pancake batter, sauces, and smoothies; and cheese to vegetables, sauces, and mashed potatoes.
Buy calcium-fortified juice, bread, and cereal.
Vitamin D helps the body absorb calcium, so make sure your child is getting enough vitamin D, too.

Can your child get too much calcium?

Milk is a wonderful source of nutrients, but it is possible to overdo it. Kids who drink too much milk or take too much calcium in the form of supplements (or a combination of those) can exceed 2,500 mg daily, the maximum amount considered safe by the Food and Nutrition Board of the Institute of Medicine. (This is called the tolerable upper intake level or UL.)

How much milk is too much? If your 1- to 3-year-old drinks more than three 8-ounce cups of milk or your 4- to 8-year-old drinks more than four 8-ounce cups of milk a day, it may be time to cut back, especially if he's eating other calcium-rich foods such as yogurt and cheese.

An excess of calcium can lead to iron deficiency because it blocks the absorption of iron, as well as other minerals such as zinc, magnesium, and phosphorus. Large quantities of milk also add extra calories that can contribute to obesity. And kids who fill up on milk often lose their appetite for other healthy foods.

4. Why magnesium is important

The body uses this important mineral to keep bones strong and the heart rhythm steady. It also supports the immune system and helps maintain muscle and nerve function.

How much magnesium does your child need?

Ages 1 to 3 years: 80 milligrams (mg) per day

Ages 4 to 8 years: 130 mg per day

Your child doesn't have to get the recommended daily amount of magnesium every day. Instead, aim for the daily amount as an average over the course of a few days or a week.

The best sources of magnesium

Nuts and legumes are some of the best sources of magnesium. Some magnesium-rich foods to try:

1 ounce dry roasted cashews: 75 mg
1 ounce dry roasted peanuts: 50 mg
1 tablespoon almond butter: 48 mg
1 tablespoon cashew butter: 41 mg
1/4 cup cooked soybeans: 37 mg
1/4 cup cooked spinach: 37 mg
1 ounce halibut: 30 mg
1/2 cup fortified instant oatmeal, prepared with water: 27 mg
1 tablespoon smooth peanut butter: 25 mg
1 slice whole wheat bread: 25 mg
1/4 cup raisins: 25 mg
4 ounces ready-to-eat chocolate pudding: 24 mg
1/4 cup black-eyed peas: 22 mg
1/2 cup plain skim-milk yogurt: 22 mg
1/2 cup bran flakes: 26 mg
1/4 cup vegetarian baked beans: 20 mg
1/4 cup long-grain brown rice: 20 mg
1/4 cup lentils: 17 mg
1/4 cup pureed avocado: 17 mg
1/4 cup kidney or pinto beans: 17 mg
1/2 cup chocolate milk: 16 mg
1/2 medium banana: 15 mg
1/2 cup milk (low-fat or nonfat): 13.5 mg
1 teaspoon wheat bran: 7 mg
1 teaspoon wheat germ: 5 mg

Can your child get too much magnesium?

Taking too much magnesium in supplement form can cause problems like diarrhea and stomach cramps. In very large doses, magnesium can be toxic.

The tolerable upper intake level for magnesium – the maximum amount considered safe by the Food and Nutrition Board of the Institute of Medicine – 65 mg per day for children ages 1 to 3, 110 mg per day for children ages 4 to 8.

5. Why potassium is important

Potassium works with sodium to control the body's water balance, which helps maintain healthy blood pressure. In fact, a diet that's low in potassium and high in sodium appears to be a factor in high blood pressure. Potassium also helps with muscle function and heart rhythm and, in later years, may reduce the risk of kidney stones and osteoporosis.

How much potassium does your child need?

Ages 1 to 3 years: 3,000 milligrams (mg) per day

Ages 4 to 8 years: 3,800 mg per day

Your child doesn't have to get the recommended daily amount of potassium every day, however. Instead, aim for the daily amount as an average over the course of a few days or a week.

Good sources of potassium

Fresh fruits and vegetables are a great source of potassium. Milk, meat, and cereals also contain potassium, but it's not as readily absorbed from these sources. Some of the best sources:

1/2 medium baked potato: 463 mg
1/2 cup prune juice: 352 mg
1/4 cup prunes: 318 mg
1/4 cup raisins: 299 mg
1/2 cup tomato juice: 278 mg
1/4 cup white beans: 251 mg
1/2 cup orange juice: 248 mg
1/4 cup lima beans: 242 mg
1 ounce sunflower seeds: 241 mg
1/4 cup acorn squash: 224 mg
1/2 medium banana: 211 mg
1/4 cup cooked spinach: 210 mg
1/2 cup cantaloupe: 208 mg
1 ounce almonds: 200 mg
1/2 medium tomato: 146 mg
1/2 cup bran cereal with raisins: 181 mg
1/2 medium orange: 118 mg
1/4 cup honeydew: 97 mg
2 deglet noor dates: 94 mg
1/2 cup watermelon: 85 mg

The amount of potassium in a food will vary somewhat, depending on the size of the fruit or the brand of product. Note that some foods (like dried fruits and nuts) are choking hazards for very young children, and nut butter should be thinly spread for the same reason.

Can your child get too much potassium?

Yes, although it's highly unlikely. The Institute of Medicine has not determined an upper intake level for potassium, which would be the maximum amount considered safe.

It's important for the body to maintain a good potassium balance. Too much potassium can cause a condition called hyperkalemia. Too little dietary potassium or loss of potassium through severe vomiting or diarrhea can cause hypokalemia.

Side effects of an imbalance include fatigue, muscle weakness and cramps, intestinal problems, and even abnormal heart rhythms.

6. Why vitamin A is important

Vitamin A plays an important role in vision and bone growth and helps protect the body from infections. Vitamin A also promotes the health and growth of cells and tissues in the body, particularly those in the hair, nails, and skin.

How much vitamin A does your child need?

Ages 1 to 3 years: 1,000 IU, or 300 micrograms (mcg) RAE (retinol activity equivalents), of vitamin A per day

Age 4 years and up: 1,320 IU (or 400 mcg RAE) per day

Good sources of vitamin A

Colorful fruits and vegetables are packed with vitamin A. Here are some of the best sources:

1/2 cup carrot juice: 22,567 IU
1/4 cup cooked sweet potato: 12,907 IU
1 raw carrot (7 1/2 inches): 8,666 IU
1/4 cup cooked carrots: 6,709 IU
1/4 cup cooked spinach: 5,729 IU
1/4 cup butternut squash: 5,717 IU
1/4 cup cooked kale: 4,979 IU
1/2 cup canned vegetable soup: 2,910 IU
1/4 cup cantaloupe: 1,352 IU
1/4 cup apricots, packed in juice: 1,031 IU
1/4 cup red bell pepper: 720 IU
1/4 cup raw spinach: 703 IU
1/4 cup sliced mango: 631 IU
1/2 cup instant fortified oatmeal, prepared with water: 626 IU
1/4 cup cooked broccoli: 603 IU
1/4 cup cooked frozen peas: 525 IU
1/2 cup tomato juice: 546 IU
1/4 cup cooked frozen peas: 525 IU
1/2 cup fortified milk: 250 IU
1/4 cup canned peaches, packed in juice: 236 IU
1/2 large egg, scrambled: 160 IU
1/2 ounce cheddar cheese: 142 IU
1/4 cup green bell pepper: 137 IU
1/4 cup fresh peaches: 125 IU
1/4 cup papaya: 83 IU

Can your child get too much vitamin A?

It's possible to get too much vitamin A from animal sources like liver and milk. (Beef liver contains 21,566 UI per slice!) This is because vitamin A from milk and meat is in the "active form," ready for use by the body.

By contrast, it's nearly impossible to overdose by getting an abundance of carotenoids, the orange and yellow pigments in carrots and other vegetables and fruits. When you eat vitamin A from these non-animal sources, the body converts only what it needs from carotenoids to the active form of vitamin A.

Too much of the active form of vitamin A can cause nausea and vomiting, headache, dizziness, blurred vision, and lack of muscle coordination. Long-term problems include osteoporosis, liver problems, and disorders of the central nervous system.

7. Why vitamin C is important

Vitamin C helps form and repair red blood cells, bones, and tissues. It helps keep your child's gums stay healthy and strengthens your child's blood vessels, minimizing bruising from falls and scrapes. In addition, vitamin C helps cuts and wounds heal, boosts the immune system, and keeps infections at bay. And it helps the body absorb iron from iron-rich foods.

How much vitamin C does your child need?

Ages 1 to 3 years: 15 milligrams (mg) per day

Ages 4 to 8: 25 mg per day

This vitamin is available in so many foods that deficiencies are extremely rare

Good sources of vitamin C

Brightly colored fruits and vegetables are great places to find vitamin C. Here are some of the best sources:

1/4 cup guava: 82.5 mg
1/2 cup orange juice: 50 mg
1/4 cup red bell peppers: 47.5 mg
1/4 cup papaya: 47.5 mg
1/4 cup kiwi: 41 mg
1/2 medium orange: 30 mg
1/4 cup broccoli: 30 mg
3 medium strawberries: 21 mg
1/4 cup pink grapefruit: 23 mg
1/4 cup cantaloupe: 17 mg
1/4 cup mango: 11 mg
1/4 cup raw tomato: 5 mg
1/4 cup spinach: 4.5 mg
1/4 cup potato, cooked without skin: 3 mg
1/4 cup banana: 2 mg

Can your child get too much vitamin C?

Because vitamin C is water soluble, any excess will be flushed from the body in your child's urine. Megadoses, however, can still cause nausea, diarrhea, kidney stones, and gastritis (inflammation of the stomach lining).

8. Why vitamin D is important

Vitamin D helps the body absorb minerals like calcium and builds strong teeth and bones. According to researcher Michael F. Holick, professor of medicine, physiology, and biophysics at Boston University School of Medicine, vitamin D deficiency can not only cause rickets (a disease that can lead to bone deformity and fractures), it can also keep a child from reaching her genetically programmed height and peak bone mass.

Vitamin D functions as a hormone with many other jobs in the body, too – including immune system health, insulin production, and regulation of cell growth.

How much vitamin D does your child need?

Regardless of age, your child's requirement for vitamin D is 400 IUs (or 10 micrograms [mcg] per day).

Good sources of vitamin D

Vitamin D is called the "sunshine vitamin" because the body can make it when the skin is exposed to sunlight. But your child's body isn't able to make vitamin D while covered with clothing or when wearing sunscreen to block the sun's rays. Other obstacles to vitamin D production from sun exposure include smog, clouds, dark skin, and geographic location.

Unless your child meets the 400 IU requirement via fortified foods, it's a good idea to give her a vitamin D supplement.

Here are some of the best food sources of vitamin D:

1 ounce salmon: 102 IU
6 ounces vitamin D-fortified yogurt: 80 IU
1 ounce canned tuna, packed in oil, drained: 66 IU
1/2 cup orange juice, fortified with 25% of DV for vitamin D: 50 IU
1/2 cup fortified milk (whole, low-fat, or skim): 49 IU
1 slice fortified American cheese: 40 IU
1/2 cup fortified, ready-to-eat cereal: 19 IU
1 ounce mackerel: 11.6 IU
1/2 large egg yolk: 10 IU
1/2 teaspoon fortified margarine: 10 IU
1/2 ounce Swiss cheese: 6 IU

Can your child get too much vitamin D?

It's very unlikely. In fact, many health experts are concerned that the 400 IU recommended daily amount is too low, and that children and adults actually need 800 to 1,000 IUs each day. (To get this amount, a child would have to drink eight to ten glasses of milk a day, which is not recommended!)

That said, vitamin D can be harmful if you get too much. It's stored in our tissues, so it's best not to go beyond what health experts recommend. (Vitamin C, by contrast, isn't stored in the body –people eliminate any excess through urine.)

To be safe, if you have a very young child, stick to the 400 IUs recommended as an infant supplement. More than 400 IUs may be recommended for an older child – but talk to your doctor to be sure.

9. Why vitamin E is important

Vitamin E limits the production of free radicals, harmful molecules that can damage cells. It's important for immunity, DNA repair, and other metabolic processes.

How much vitamin E does your child need?

Ages 1 to 3 years: 6 milligrams (mg), or 9 IU, of vitamin E per day

Ages 4 to 8 years: 7 mg, or 10.5 IU, per day

Good sources of vitamin E

Vitamin E can be found in a variety of foods, including fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds. Here are some of the best food sources of vitamin E:

1 ounce dry roasted almonds: 7 mg
1 teaspoon wheat germ oil: 6 mg
1 ounce dry roasted sunflower seeds: 6 mg
1 tablespoon almond butter: 4 mg
1 tablespoon sunflower seed butter: 4 mg
1 tablespoon smooth peanut butter: 2 mg
1 ounce dry roasted peanuts: 2 mg
1 teaspoon sunflower oil: 1.8 mg
1 teaspoon safflower oil: 1.5 mg
1/2 medium kiwi (peeled): 1 mg
1 teaspoon corn oil: 0.6 mg
1/4 cup cooked frozen spinach: 0.8 mg
1/4 cup cooked frozen broccoli: 0 .6 mg
1 teaspoon soybean oil: 0.4 mg
1/4 cup raw mango: 0.9 mg

Can your child get too much vitamin E?

It's far more likely that your child won't get enough of this vital nutrient. But because vitamin E can act as an anticoagulant, which increases the risk of bleeding problems, the Food and Nutrition Board of the Institute of Medicine has set upper intake levels for vitamin E. (This is the maximum amount considered safe.)

A 2- or 3-year-old child should get no more than 200 mg (or 300 IU) of vitamin E per day. A 4- to 8-year-old child should get no more than 300 mg (or 450 IU) of vitamin E per day.

10. Why zinc is important

More than 70 enzymes depend on zinc to perform their roles in digestion and metabolism. And children who don't get enough zinc risk having stunted growth. Fortunately, zinc deficiencies are rare in the United States.

How much zinc does your child need?

Ages 1 to 3 years: 3 milligrams (mg) per day

Ages 4 to 8 years: 5 mg per day

Good sources of zinc

Zinc can be found in a wide variety of foods. Here are some of the best sources of zinc:

1/4 cup baked beans with pork and tomato sauce: 3.3 mg
1 ounce cooked beef shank: 3 mg
1/2 medium broiled hamburger (1.5 ounces), 95% lean: 2.7 mg
1 ounce broiled steak: 2.6 mg
1/2 cup ready-to-eat breakfast cereal, fortified with 25% of DV for zinc: 2.5 mg
1 ounce dry roasted almonds: 1 mg
1/2 cup low-fat fruit yogurt: 0.8 mg
1 tablespoon cashew butter, no salt added: 0.8 mg
1 packet instant oatmeal: 0.8 mg
1/4 cup part-skim ricotta cheese: 0.8 mg
1/4 cup canned baked beans: 0.8 mg
1/4 roasted chicken leg: 0.6 mg
1/4 cup garbanzo beans: 0.6 mg
1/4 cup lentils: 0.6 mg
1/2 ounce Swiss cheese: 0.5 mg
1 tablespoon almond butter: 0.5 mg
1/4 cup raw tofu, prepared with calcium sulfate: 0.5 mg
(Note: Tofu varies in nutrients, depending on how it's processed. Check the nutrient label.)
1/4 cup cooked peas: 0.4 mg
1/4 cup lima beans: 0.4 mg
1/4 skinless chicken breast: 0.4 mg
1/2 ounce mozzarella or cheddar cheese: 0.4 mg
1/2 cup milk: 0.4 mg
1 teaspoon wheat germ: 0.3 mg

Can your child get too much zinc?

It's not likely your child will get too much zinc from diet alone, but excessive amounts (from vitamin supplements, for example) can cause adverse effects, like nausea and vomiting, abdominal cramps, diarrhea, and headaches. Too much zinc over the long run can cause long-term toxic effects, as well.

The maximum amount considered safe by the Food and Nutrition Board of the Institute of Medicine for children 1 to 3 years old is 7 mg. For children 4 to 8 years, it's 12 mg. (This is called the tolerable upper intake level or UL.)

Time to warm up

2011-08-05T10:56:00.000+08:00

If he's reserved in new situations, give him extra time to warm up rather than insisting that he hug people he meets. He's depending on you to help him feel comfortable. By respecting his needs, you can help him learn to deal with the world.

Sometimes you can modify your child's environment in small ways to help him stay engaged and avoid meltdowns. That said, it's not your job to make life fun and free of frustration. Your child will get upset and dissolve into tears and tantrums. It's all a normal part of how kids learn and grow, so don't take it personally!

(source)

How my 1-year-old holds a pencil/crayon

2011-08-04T14:06:00.009+08:00

she used to hold a pencil by gripping it with her whole fist, but thumb at the bottom and pinky at the top, something like this, but not exactly, her pencil would touch the paper at a steeper angle, almost 90 degrees. and the top of her hand would face left instead of right like in the photo, and her elbow lifted out to the side:

then abang Alif tried to 'correct' her grip by showing her how to do this:

probably because he assumed she was too small to be able to learn the correct way.
i initially thought he was the one who had taught Sophia the right way to hold a pencil but according to him, he taught her how to hold it as above.

but then one day we all noticed how she had adopted a new way to hold a pencil:

the right way! =D
we believe she learnt this by observing how others actually do it.

An excerpt from here:
"By the time he's 3, your child will be able to hold a pencil in writing position."

notice how she turns the crayon round and round? hahah
so amusing to me

Funny Soph

2011-08-02T16:54:00.004+08:00

I was going through pinterest when an image of a moustache photo prop reminded me of something funny Soph did 2-3 months back.

During my sister's bridal shower organised by our SJ friends at Dylla's place, Ira made moustaches, lips and a tiara for photo props (go here if you don't know what i'm talking about)
Soph certainly witnessed everyone putting stuff on sticks to their lips and upper lips, except for the tiara of course. She got to use some too.

Then one day, while she was going through my sister's handbag, she found a Universal Studios pen, which had a bobbing Director's clapboard on it, something like this:

I watched her hold the pen upright and put the clapboard between her upper lip and her nose (where a moustache would be).
At first i was puzzled, trying to figure out what on earth she was doing and why she was doing it.
then i remembered we had my twin's bridal shower the day before and how we were all using the photo props

lol. i had a good laugh before i could explain to my sis what Soph was doing with her pen ;D

Resolutions Every Mom Should Make

2011-08-02T10:07:00.002+08:00

Parents.com listed 8, but here are those I aim to work on.

1. Perfection Doesn't Matter

I will embrace the fact that I'm not perfect.

You can be cranky, you can lose your patience, and yes -- you can even move the clock ahead an hour just so the kids will go to bed early and give you some peace and quiet. You don't have to bake everything from scratch, make Halloween costumes out of scraps lying around the house, or coach the soccer team. Children don't need you to be perfect. What they really need are reasonable limits, lots of hugs and kisses, and a happy mommy.

3. Practice Healthy Habits

I will take care of my body.

When's the last time you put your needs first? Even if you have to force yourself, carve out 30 minutes a day, several days a week, to get some exercise. It improves your mood, blasts fat, and boosts your immune system. And we're not talking spin classes or complicated step aerobics here -- even a simple walk around the neighborhood will do the trick. While you're at it, try to eat a balanced diet and get as much sleep as you possibly can each night.

5. Connect at the Dinner Table

I will make the family dinner a priority.

Sure, it's easier to grab pizza and eat in front of the TV than to arrange a meal at the dinner table. But the food isn't the focus -- the family is. Sitting down with your children each night allows you to connect and talk about your day. And research has found that kids who regularly have dinner with their parents are more likely to do well in school and stay out of trouble.

(Perhaps it's true, coz I remember dad insisting we sit at the table together during dinner. And we're relatively 'trouble-free')

6. Don't Forget the Romance

I will focus a little more on my marriage.

Marriage is a living thing that needs to be watered, fed, and nurtured. But raising children takes so much time and energy that chances are you see less of your husband now than you did when the two of you were dating. The solution? Hold hands whenever you can, and hire a babysitter (or enlist your mother-in-law) once a week so you can spend time as a couple.

8. Appreciate the Little Things

I will remind myself daily that time with my child is precious.

Motherhood never ends -- but childhood does. You have a baby, you blink, and suddenly there's a 3-year-old standing in front of you announcing, "I'm big now." The magic years are unbelievably brief, and every day that little girl or boy is changing and growing, edging a little closer toward the door. Remember that the essence of parenting isn't in the milestones, but in the everyday moments. So stop, pay attention, and make sure you celebrate them every chance you get.

Explanation to why looking after kids is tiring and time-consuming, not to mention fulfilling

2011-08-02T01:41:00.004+08:00

I remember being defensive when someone implied my mom had it easy because she didn't work.
I was as young as 8 or maybe 9.
I remember being angry at the accusation but remained silent coz i knew it was not my loss. Someone who could think of saying that surely didn't know any better, one would emphatise. I actually felt sorry for her that her mom wasn't available at any hour of the day like mine was.
At that age, or perhaps a little bit older, i noticed that most girls wanted to be what their mothers were, SAHM or career women.

Alhamdulillah. My childhood was nothing short of great.

Dad was dedicated to his work and determined to provide a comfortable life for us, yet he was affectionate, loving, enjoyed spending time with us and pampered us with gifts whenever he could. We loved his gifts yet weren't demanding. Which means, pampering does not necessarily mean spoiling ;)
I salute my dad for being able to turn our very humble beginning into something we are all grateful for. He was lucky mom wasn't materialistic. Hehe
And of course, the best gift a father can give to his children is to love their mother.
I cannot agree more.

It is also true that behind every great man is an even greater woman.
Mom was the definition of a devoted wife and mother. Her children clung to her, looked up to her, and me.. i wanted to be just like her :)
She was selfless, her husband and children always came first before her needs, constantly doing things for our family without expecting anything in return apart fr good behaviour.
Not even praises, she was not looking to get people to notice whatever she had done. Ikhlas is the right word. Hence, doing things for her family did not translate into her feeling like she was being treated as a maid. Ego is one thing she did not possess.
As a result, we only wanted to please her more. When she was out running errands, my twin and i would race against time to make the house as clean and neat as she would make it. 1 of us would start with the living room, fluff pillows, vacuum the carpets, arrange magazines and such while the other cleared the plates from the dish rack, then whoever was done first would go around into everyone's rooms to make the beds, and then to sweep the floors of each room. That was the beauty of my parents' parenting i believe. None of their children 'berkira' tak kisahla in terms of kerja rumah ataupun duit.
We would listen out for the sound of the car in case she got home before we were done. And would wait in the living room to greet her. Her noticing the condition of the house was enough to make our day. So much so that we looked forward to her next outing. If we had extra time, we'd even do the extras like clean the windows, the fans or the vases or even the garden. And because we wanted to do all those on our own free will, while other moms had to endure endless bickering and complaining, my mother was my role model. She must've done something really right for that to be so ;)
And i think i wasn't the only one who yearned to be as selfless as she was.

Siblings, i was naturally the closest to my wombmate but was thankful i had 3 other sibs to make the household a cheerful, less quiet one.

I wish Sophia a really happy childhood too :) and a very happy adulthood.
InsyaAllah
Sometimes, when the going gets tough, and nothing else can ease the pain, to make myself accept the situation and let it go, i think of Soph. "if my suffering may mean that my daughter won't have to go through the same and have better luck In this area of life, i'd rather face it myself" and just like that i'd be okay.

My challenge now is to focus on myself and manage external factors coming from other people. And.. Not being bitter is such a struggle but achievable with God's will, something i intend to work on this special month. Which is why i was bummed i got my red flag just 1 day before Ramadhan.

On my healthy diet target, I have found that it isn't the same this time around. I don't have the luxury of distracting myself from cravings simply because they ARE my short term indulgences. They're the only rewards i can afford at the moment, in terms of time and resources.
they're my pick me up, mainly because other things i enjoy would take up too much time and are nearly impossible to provide utility in one sitting, unlike that cup of Jamoca Almond Fudge.

So i regret to report that the mission is under construction until a better strategy is in place. What i listed down is still ideal but clearly isn't effective this time.
I need something that is more sustainable.

Meltdowns

2011-07-26T08:20:00.005+08:00

Your 15-month-old's behavior: More meltdowns

" Of course it may seem like your child picks the absolute worst times to throw fits — in the middle of the grocery store, at the airport in front of your mother-in-law — and it's up to you to experiment with ways to handle the flare-ups. One reason that children seem to fall apart in public is simply that they're overstimulated: Unfamiliar people, bright lights, and loud noises all at one time can be too much for your child to handle. When you're out and about trying to run errands, your toddler knows he doesn't have your full attention, which is what he wants more than anything else — and will do just about anything to get."

"What you can do
You can often head off meltdowns during errands by staying emotionally connected to your child as best you can, despite all you have to do — which will make errands more fun for both of you. Making up a game like "I see corn flakes, I see ... you!" and then giving him a big nuzzle as you put the box in the shopping cart will head off his frantic feeling that you're putting your attention everywhere but on him. But tantrums are inevitable — every child has to blow off steam sometime. And children struggling through the peaks and valleys of physical and emotional development may need to blow it off every day."

"don't yell at him or try to pin his arms down, which will only make him more frustrated. Pick him up and move him to a spot where he can safely have his fit on the ground or in the car, while you sit warmly by, reassuring him that you love him."

"If your toddler's fit attracts attention from other adults in the vicinity, you're likely to be embarrassed, but your child will pick up on that, too and he may increase the intensity of his tantrum. Your best bet in a public setting is to grit your teeth and smile while you take your child away from the scene."

"One of your most important jobs as a parent is setting limits for your child. At times you may feel like a broken record, but the next time you see your toddler starting to do something you've asked him not to, watch the process. For instance, he'll start to climb onto the dishwasher, which you've asked him not to do several times, but will keep an eye on you the whole time. While you may think he's simply being defiant, he's actually testing you, and waiting for you to step in and say, "Stop, that's far enough.""

"Try to remember that many of your 15-month-old's seemingly defiant and destructive behaviors are related to his overall development. When he uses a crayon to scribble on the coffee table, he doesn't know that he's ruining a piece of furniture, he's just enjoying his budding fine-motor skills. And when he refuses to go to bed, he's simply aware that being with you is so exciting that he doesn't want to sleep in case he misses something. Establishing routines, like a bath and book before bed, and giving him ample opportunities to test out skills like "drawing," will help make this period less frustrating for you."

Sophia can count :)

2011-07-25T14:51:00.004+08:00

Well, sort of. Hehe

She knows 2 comes after 1, 5 after 4, 6 after 5, 8 after 7 and 10 after 9.
But the only numbers she would consistently say when prompted, is numbers 2 and 10, followed by 8.
The rest depends on her mood.
Like in the above video, i was pretty confident she was at least gonna say 8 too but her Abah degil, tak sabar2 nak start counting 1, despite my saying tunggu dulu :P
Hahah
In the end she said 2 and 10 only. 'ta!' is Sophia's 10

And once, her Abah kept repeating 1... 1... 1... Trying to get her to continue and say 2
Again and again, coz she refused to say 2
She had been saying it a lot, perhaps she was getting sick of it.
So finally

Abah: Sophia! Oneee............. (for intonation, refer video above)
Soph: Noo-uh... (with the same intonation)

Then my mom told me how she was trying to teach Soph Alif Ba Ta..

Nanny: Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Alif.....
Sophia: Where? *both palms facing up*

You crack me up sayang. Miss u!

A good self-reminder

2011-07-25T11:44:00.002+08:00

(source)

Note: it doesn't have to be your past, don't let your present make you bitter too :)

Molten momma

2011-07-12T10:18:00.009+08:00

look at the sorry state of the camel. this was in water world a famosa melaka

won't ever go there again, but it'll still hold one of the nicest memories i've had with my daughter though. all three of us had so much fun :)

Sophia's latest words
-"Kakak"
-"Tantik"= cantik
-"Pokok"=Keropok
-"ootu' "=youtube

how she melts my heart:

1. when Nanny asked "cucu sape ni.. cucu Nanny ke" - "Nuh" she would answer
"cucu Tok Wan ke" - "Nuh" she would answer. both she would say while shaking her head
"then baby sape?" -"Mamah"
:D

of course being happy coz of her 3rd answer does not mean i'm happy coz of her first 2 answers. u'd be surprised how often people think that is true.. not talking about this specific instance but instances like that. ok malas nak elaborate i'm sure u know what i mean.
i get accused of so many things so many times u'd be surprised if u only knew. Sophia will surely ask me what accusations they are/were, but i think, and i hope, i'd forget them by then. i have already forgotten many, that if you were to ask me now, i'd only be able to say at most 50% of it. not that i would say even if i remembered them anyway. hehehe :P

2. Sophia coming up to me, leaning her cheek and body on mine, with a smile on her face :) then burying her nose in my cheek/face :)
it still amazes me how much she's grown and developed in just over 1 year. i dont mean relative to other kids but am talking about how amazing God's creation is, to be able to learn and absorb and blossom so much in only 1 year. 1 year is enough to transform her from how she was when she was born to how she is now, a babbling, playful, walking toddler who understands what we say to her and a whole lot of other stuff she observes.

I caught her acting like she was brushing her teeth when she was looking at a book.
I looked over her shoulder, at the page she was looking at.. there was a toothbrush :D
she can play independently, entertaining herself, walking all over the room/house looking for things to explore or observe.
a photographer labelled her as 'explosive'. hahaha more on that later ;D
she also does a pretend cry when she looks at this particular book called 'Babies', where some of the babies in the photos are crying

She loves elmo now despite being terrified of elmo ('elmo's song' on youtube) just a few months back
she especially loves 'elmo's got the moves'
also on youtube