as usual, i'll start with how i'm feeling. it's why i blog anyway.
i blog when i'm overwhelmed with all sorta feelings and need to direct them somewhere.
a pregnant woman can never run out of feelings can she? ;P

now i feel like.. cleaning the house inside and out. especially the room that will be the baby's nursery.
is this my nesting phase? already?
huhu
but of course i can't do it now. i'll just end up tired and annoyed that i have to leave the house in a bigger mess since it's already 930pm. and if i do that, falling asleep is going to b tough. wayy tough.

so y am i so restless? is it due to the number 1 answer to every question 1 may have about being preggers? which is.. hormones?
guess so.
but i think i'm also restless coz despite having looked forward to this brand new experience in my life, i can't really do much. like shop for the baby because it's too soon. or prepare stuff for the baby because its too soon AND because i can't do heavy housework. basically only the last 2-3 months of pregnancy would I be able to actually do all the amazing pregnant stuff. right?
any idea what i can do to divert all this energy?

would love to start sewing beddings, and maybe curtains for my baby's nursery. but it's too soon. i'm afraid to.
plus being slightly OCD-ish, I need the house to be in order first before undertaking this project.
at least i still have my priorities right ;)
can't wait to take leave to make my home over.
coz weekends are not enough. they're always filled to the brim anyways.
i sometimes think i'm more exhausted on weekends than i am on weekdays.
but in a good way.

oh i'm also breaking out like crayzee. but since noone or nothing can stop them pimples from making my face their home, i might as well accept it. i dont usually hav a problem pretending my face is free of bumps n blemishes.. until someone reminds me of course. huhu. and they always do..

or have i shared that already.
oh well it won't be the first time i forget. it's weird how i can have no memory at all about certain things. i feel like Dory.

hmm.. it just hit me that THE reason y i'm so restless is the fact that my next checkup is sooo far awayy.. i miss looking at my baby. i constantly wonder how big (s)he's grown already, whether it's a boy or a girl, if the names we have chosen would suit our baby's personality :)

we've had 2 girl names since before we even got married! heheh
1 for our first girl and 1 for our 2nd. like when we found out we were pregnant, instead of telling ourselves we're gonna have a baby.. we said we're finally gonna have S..... hahah
crazy i know. especially since the baby could very well be a boy :P not like we would prefer to have a girl for our first child. we really have no preference. a boy would be just as wonderful.
boy names though.. are a bit more difficult. we've only taken a liking to one boy name so far. which also starts with an S :)
so we sometimes call my belly the girl S and sometimes the boy S. heheh. can be confusing for the baby no?

that's y i can't waaiiitt for my next checkup. hopefully we'll know if we're having a boy or a girl by then. hopefully my next entry won't be after my next checkup which is gonna be in about a month's time. hopefully i'll have something interesting to talk about soon.

know what? it's been a while seen i've been grateful for not throwing up anymore. alhamdulillah~ hope baby's perfectly fine. amin~

though it's not Monday yet, my Monday blues usually start Sunday evening.

am missing the UK..
1. probably coz I was studying then so no Monday blues
2. am missing their autumn and spring time. perhaps coz i'm soo looking fwd to a holiday i've been wanting since I don't even know when

on an unrelated note. I think I need to live near my mom.
I'm serious. not like I visit her too often (I already hate this part) what with working in KL side of town and all but I hate HATE the feeling before I leave to go home after a visit. I don't know whyyyy...
the effect it has on me each time takes a long time to recover. hahah. pelik kann

maybe coz instead of dropping by once a week or once in 2 weeks and more than a few hours at a time, i'd much rather be able to drop by anytime tkyah lama pon takpe. several times a week should be no problem at all kalau dekat. living next door to her would be a dream come true, not to mention a calmer me. bukan nak duduk bawah ketiak mak tp I can't help being extremely attached with her. somehow being physically close to her can make me more at ease. clingy much? haha or just plain mental? there should be a word for people like me. if there isn't one already.

Hey it's been a while :)
I've been enjoying my 2nd trimester. Have started getting cravings of all sorts. Luckily hubby is understanding and supports me as best he can.
Am being pampered with good food :) am sure i'm piling on the pounds too.

Participated in my company's inter-house archery tournament. Represented my team and though I was anticipating going it alone since we couldn't find any other lady who was willing to participate, luckily 2 ladies stepped up to the plate. Couldn't have won 1st place without them.
Yeap we got gold! =) Unbelievable huh? Alhamdulillah.

I only play twice a year, one to practice for the tourney and another, the actual event itself.
it turned out, instead of the 4 categories we could have won like last year, only 1 gold was up for grabs. sucky huh? thought the 4 golds could make our current standing improve fr a third to the second but tough luck. better than not getting any at all

the best part was, participating in a competitive game with this lil one in my tummy.
it was amazing! =)
found myself rubbing my belly WHILE playing.
basically I'd aim firstly with only my left hand, at the same time my right hand would rest on my belly for comfort and stability. then my right hand would pull at the string(?), aim a final time and let go. so fun!

there was also some drama involving yours truly coz there was a dispute in scoring. exactly like last year, they failed to include a point for one arrow of mine. we each had 8 arrows each set. ALL of mine went into the circles, none beyond the red circles in fact, which means 7 points and above. at least not for the set they miscalculated. everyone present could testify to this.
this year hubby had the same luck too but he let it go like I did last year.
so the third time this happened that day I couldn't take a 0 for an arrow no more.
especially not when my team's score was on the line. it wasn't about the prize. I would have gladly walked out getting last place if that was what I deserved but I didn't deserve a 0 so I fought for it.

even after being told by the manager that he could only give me a markah kesian of 1 since his staff insisted they were right, I stood my ground. I would rather take the 0 than the 1 to be honest.
but because they miscalculated hubby's points earlier, we had made sure that whenever they were calculating our scores thereafter, we would check that they pull out exactly 8 arrows from each of our targets. and they did pull out 8 arrows. so it was utterly impossible that we'd gotten a 0. so that was why we insisted. fortunately the people around me supported my arguments. even those not on my team. thanks!!! :)

in the end, we settled on a compromise. the manager suggested that he give me 3 arrows to shoot and he would take the highest mark for the arrow I claimed they excluded.

I agreed. Heck I would have accepted the suggestion even if he offered to take the lowest mark. or the middle-ground would be to take the average of the 3 arrows. Alhamdulillah, I got a 9, an 8 and then a 10. was so relieved I didn't humiliate myself after all the hu ha I created. lol! wished I didn't have to go to that extent

whatever it is, the best part was competing with the knowledge that I have a human being growing inside me :)

I just love them. I can watch them over and over and over again :) I say watch because these are prtscrns from the vid clips we got in a CD fr the obgyn. I love~
Thank you Allah~

I am so tired.
Wish life can be more spontaneous.
All of me wants sooo bad to have an island retreat somewhere nice.
But. I can't complain.

Can't say how many times I've been tempted to pack my bags and just click the book now button.

Of course I never did. and probably never would. Boring kan. Urgh!

Baby...
Mommy can't wait to feel you kicking inside me.
Instead of waiting for our next checkup to 'meet u' and see how much bigger you've grown each time.
And anticipating the scans to see for myself that you're indeed okay.
It was such a delight to watch you move at our last checkup. your arms were flailing and you raised your bottom! to which Ayah/Daddy (he has yet to decide) said "hiak hiak, toing toing." ;D
you even stretched your legs and we joked that you were 'digging' me. an inside information/joke only the Nawawi family understands. I think.

It's amazing how much I love you already.
It really is an unbelievable feeling...

Although I can't feel you move inside my belly yet, you are undoubtedly there as Mummy has been getting all, I repeat ALL, the pregnancy symptoms anyone has ever heard of. every little thing under the sun. if you've read about it, chances are I've got it.
ohh! except one which i'm thankful I don't have (yet?) which is melasma, darkening of the skin. Alhamdulillahh..

Some of the symptoms, like not being able to smell food or even look at food, Mummy used to think was partly from one's imagination and one's knowledge that once you're pregnant these things MAY happen, although Mummy never said this to any pregnant lady for fear that it might actually be true.
so Mummy reserved her doubts.
until now..
all doubts have vanished.
Mummy now doesn't think it possible for anyone.. any ONE to fake the symptoms at all.
I mean who on earth would rather be weak and haggard rather than be the perfect image of health and glow like never before. right?
I know I was one of them, who expected to be glowing when I get pregnant.
maybe later ye Sayang? :)

But baby, please know this..
Mommy isn't complaining.
The symptoms, no matter how bad they are at times, are signs that Mummy's body is accepting you and preparing for you. Mommy believes that.
It just means Mummy's hormones are not in order yet. They will be soon k Darling? insyaAllah.

Before I go, I have a little funny story for you Baby.

Nanny was the first person to suspect that you were growing inside Mummy's belly.

We were all preparing lunch. I was to slice the cucumber. but first, I had to look for the peeler. Not being able to locate the peeler, I decided to use the knife. Still, at least 5 minutes had passed.

Mummy was almost done with the cucumber when Nanny commented
"Hana! you're still with the cucumber? so slow you potong?"
loud. yes. but in no way harsh.

I don't know what hit me, but tears dropped like rain. silently.
Nanny asked me something but Mummy couldn't answer coz I was busy choking back tears. lots and lots of them.
Plus Mummy didn't want Nanny to notice the tears.
Mummy's nose was starting to run too.

Mummy quickly placed the cucumbers in a plate and ran upstairs (yes, very much like an angsty teenager). but still silently.
Minutes later Nanny followed me upstairs, into Aunty Hani's room. someone, your uncle or your aunt, must have told Nanny that Mummy was crying.

Nanny started asking if anything was the matter and why Mummy was so sensitive..
If Mummy was pregnant.
When I said I wasn't pregnant, she asked if I was 'late'.
I was about 2-3 days late so I said yea but it's not at all unusual. I've never been regular after all.
Mummy certainly dismissed the idea (I did say I thought my crying was reasonable didn't I ;P).

So that was the first inkling that you were present inside me.
Only weeks later did we confirm it. another story for another day k? :)

Btw, Mummy's first letter to you comes this late, at almost 3 months, because Mummy has been down with morning all-day sickness.
Initially, despite having created a personal URL dedicated for my letters/writing to all my future babies much2 earlier, Mummy lost all mood to write or do anything at all for that matter.
For a while Mummy thought I will probably never want to blog again.
Guess I was wrong.

Now Ayah/Daddy wants to read Mummy's letter to you Baby.
Mummy's going to rest.
Be safe Sayang. InsyaAllah..

Mummy loves you.